Nocturne
by platarozaluna
Summary: Casey Novak is a woman who prides herself on being good at what she does, often at the sacrifice of her relationships. What happens when Casey gets in over her head on a case and her life is threatened by the New York Mob? Will she back down or die first?
1. Chapter 1: The Approaching Night

**Nocturne: Chapter 1: The Approaching Night**

**A/N: I wrote this as a personal story to be put on fictionpress and then decided that it would work very well as an SVU story, so I reworked a few things. The main character was a prosecutor of my invention named Rose, but she's very similar to Casey Novak. :) Jackie and Amando are OC's. Jackie is there as Liv's partner so that she could be with Elly, and to add another female perspective. She doesn't have a huge role, nor does Amando, so no Mary Sues. Read & Review ~platarozaluna  
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><em>Wednesday, March 13th<br>New York City  
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>She was...a prosecutor. Waist length hair. Curly. Red. Glamorous. Some call her a killer, a murderer, herself. But is she if she kills to make the world safer?<p>

"Casey!"

She turned sharply on her heel and fixed the man with a familiar icy stare.

"What? In case you haven't noticed, Detective, I'm trying to get home before midnight," she snapped coolly. Detective Elliot Stabler scowled and handed her a manilla envelope.

"Oh I think what I have will be of interest to you, Miss Novak. Olivia and Jackie had a lead on the Lanzo Mancini case-probable cause to believe he's affiliated with the De Luca family, the mob family we've been tracing for years," Elliot explained and Casey took the envelope hesitantly.

"Thanks. I'll review it from the comfort of my own bed," she said rather blandly and left the building.

It was after midnight by the time Casey returned to her Manhattan apartment. She sifted through some old Hibachi takeout in the fridge, trying to see if there was anything worth heating up. She ended up finding a styrofoam container of smoked salmon towards the back of the refrigerator and popped it in the microwave. She always enjoyed this time of night-total silence after a rough day. She always listened to her answering machine messages while she ate her dinner at whatever obscene hour of the night it usually was.

"Casey-I know you're probably working, but it's Karen from the Times. I wanted to congratulate you on your "New York's Most Successful". I loved the cover shots you did. Anyway, I wanted to know if you'd be interested in doing another interview for the Times-readers loved your last one. Give me a call when you get a chance, thanks"

"Hey Casey, it's Melinda. I think I found something on the Adriana corpse. Come by my office at around 10 tomorrow morning."

Lanzo Mancini. Favorite in the rape and murder of Adriana Russo, the daughter of a mafia lord of the Russo family, who'd been competing with the De Lucas for years. What she didn't understand was why the Russo family even bothered coming to the police-didn't the Mafia tend to take care of things for themselves? Murder was murder, though, even if Lanzo had killed one of his own. Mediterranean male. 6'0. Brown eyes. Aged 33 years. Tattoo of a serpent on his right bicep. Casey would have the pleasure of questioning him in the morning before his 3:00 arraignment.  
>She would bring this family down-she had to. For Sáratríz.<p>

After a hot, soothing shower, Casey changed into a pair of black yoga pants and a red cami and slipped into bed. She opened the manilla envelope Elliot had given her earlier-Olivia and Jackie had evidently pulled city birth and death records dating back to the early 1900's to tie Mancini to the mob. Lanzo Mancini was born in 1990 to Vittoria and Filippo Mancini-he had a little sister, Valentina. And Vittoria's father was Giovanni De Luca. The victim, Adriana, was the daughter of Alessia and Lorenzo Russo. Lorenzo Russo's grandfather, Giacomo, had a brother...Luca...who married Sáratríz after her first husband, Tomás, "died." And it was Vittoria Mancini's grandfather, Pietro, that...raped and beat Sáratríz. And paralyzed her in the hit and run. Casey traced the genealogy lines with one finger and with her other hand, clutched a black cross like a lifeline. Justice was going to be done.

Casey walked into the precinct early Thursday morning clad in a black high-waisted skirt, red blouse, and a black leather jacket with matching heeled boots. She dropped a cup of coffee on Olivia's desk, causing her to look up startled and then smile.

"Late night?" Casey smirked.

"How the -hell- do you manage waking up early, stopping at Starbucks, and still have time to do your hair?" Olivia exclaimed exasperatedly, and it was true. Her wispy brown hair was still wet and pulled back in a loose ponytail, while Casey had every curl meticulously in place.

"It's called sleep, my dear friend," Casey replied and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"The perps don't sleep," she yawned. "But the ADA does. Now, Did you guys turn up anything legitimate? I'll need more than hypotheticals and circumstantial evidence to get your search warrant. I'm heading over to the ME's office in a bit, so if you can get me something in the next two hours, I'll do the paperwork on my way back." Olivia groaned and ran her hand frustratedly through her hair.

"If it's him, which I have no doubt it is, he'll have left nothing behind for a warrant to turn up. We're talking about a Mafia kill here," Olivia pointed out.

"Do you even have a motive for me? Why Adriana Russo? It's not typical for a mobster to kill a young woman and they don't typically rape. It doesn't fit procedure," Casey said and Olivia shrugged.

"Maybe it wasn't a mob kill. Maybe it's just a coincidence that he's a De Luca..."

"And she's a Russo? Come on!"

"We're doing all we can. Let up," Elliot growled coming up and placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"Hey, sweetie," she smiled and Casey rolled her eyes.

"That's my cue to leave. Where the hell is Jackie?"

"She went to have a word with Amando," Elliot replied with a smirk.

"I'd have her off the case for fraternizing with the public defender if I thought they were talking about the case, but she'd best have her ass back here by the time I get back from the Medical Examiner's office or we're going to have a problem," Casey growled and stormed off. Friend or not, the criminal justice system had no place for incompetence.

"I hope you have something for me and that it's good news," Casey said exasperatedly as she walked into the lab behind the dark-skinned young woman in the lab coat with the curly black hair. Melinda Warner spun around.

"Well good morning to you, too. I've spent two days picking through a cadaver for you and this is the greeting I get?" she said, but was smiling and handed a stack of papers to Casey somewhat triumphantly. Casey, however, was confused.

"Why the hell am I looking at a hairy old man's chest?"

"Read it, genius," Melinda pointed further down on the paper. Casey scanned the paper.

"This guy was branded with some weird symbol...Mafia kill...well, that makes sense. The Mafia was and is big on honor. They're not going to have an innocent take the fall for something they've done. Putting that symbol there was there way of alerting law enforcement officials that it was a mob kill," Casey explained and Melinda raised an eyebrow.

"Should I ask you how you knew that?"

"Please don't," Casey replied and Melinda nodded.

"What does the symbol on the guy's chest look like to you?" Casey frowned and took another look at it.

"Oh my god...it's a black hand!" she exclaimed. Melinda crossed back over to the corpse covered by a blue sheet and beckoned for Casey to come over to her. Melinda slowly pulled back the sheet to reveal an identical black hand branded, post mortem, into Adriana Russo's chest.

"Melinda...you are a brilliant woman," Casey murmured. She had a case now.

**A/N: It's a little awkward in the beginning, but what do y'all think? It's going to be a story focused on Casey, obviously.  
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	2. Chapter 2: Concierto de Aranjuez

SVUNocturne Chapter 2: Concierto de Aranjuez (Adagio)  
><strong><br>A/N: I All of the chapter titles are piano ballads-Chapter 1 was Philip Wesley's "The Approaching Night" and this one is Joaquín Rodrigo's "Concierto de Aranjuez." Thanks for the review, ThinkerInLove. I figured I'd keep updating what I had—I'm supposed to get hit by a hurricane tonight and could be out of power for awhile Read and review~platarozaluna**

_Thursday, March 14th  
>11:00 am<br>Starbucks on Bridge Street, New York_

"You had a date the other night, right? How'd it go?" Melinda asked, sipping her mocha frap at the corner Starbucks.

"It was nice, he even brought flowers," Casey murmured, staring into her cinnamon latte rather than meeting Melinda's eyes.

"Do you think anything will come of it?"

"It'll start soon enough. He'll want me around more, not knowing the strings I pull to get the small amount of time off that I do. He'll start asking questions about what I do. He'll intercept one of those lovely calls from the parole officers telling me that some guy that hates my guts is back on the streets. It's a shame...he seems nice enough. His name's Josh, he programs computers. Works 9-5 on weekdays," Casey said dryly and took another sip of her coffee, letting it scald the back of her throat.

"I don't get what the big deal is, you're a prosecutor, not a drug lord," Melinda remarked with a sly smirk and Casey slammed her cup down on the table, causing coffee to slosh onto her hand. She sighed and licked it off.

"It's...hard...to be with a guy that you can't share things with. It's easier to say nothing than just a little bit. It's got to be all or nothing," she explained firmly.

"Because you don't open up to them!" Melinda exclaimed and Casey scoffed.

"If they knew me, they'd run. Right now, my job is all I have. I can't chance losing it."

"Lanzo Mancini-up for a chat?" He looked up as she walked into Interrogation Room 3 closely followed by Detectives Fin Tutuola and John Munch, because apparently Captain didn't think she could take care of herself.

"Buon giorno," Mancini said with a nod and a dip of his head. He was treating her with a degree of respect, at least. She'd already briefed Fin-he wasn't to step in unless Mancini got violent and John was not to comment at all.

"Buon giorno, come stai?" she asked casually and sat in a navy swivel chair across from him.

"Sto bene," he replied with a sly smile.

"I'm not going to ask you outright about the case, so you don't need your lawyer, ok? This room is a safe zone. Anything you have to say, now is the time to say it," she prompted just as smoothly, but Mancini just shrugged.

"Io non ho paura," he said.

"Bene. Then you shouldn't take issue with me asking you how you knew Adriana Russo."

"Bella ragazza. We slept together a few times," he said as if it didn't matter, but to Casey, it mattered significantly.

"You had intimate relations with the victim? Why didn't you tell the police?" She knew he could be lying to cover the rape, but somehow she didn't think he was. The Mafia had a deep respect for women. If he was sleeping with her, he'd want to do her the justice of not being ashamed to admit it. And he wouldn't have raped her.

"Non lo so. I just didn't think it mattered," he said, and seemed honest.

"Your fluids were found inside of her and you were seen with Miss Russo the day of the murder. Your families hate each other-you were charged with a rape homicide. I'd say a long time consensual relationship would be a significantly important fact, wouldn't you?" Casey hissed and Mancini sighed.

"Go to my room and look in the cigar box on the bookshelf-it has a false bottom. In it, I kept some letters from Adriana. Love letters, if you will. We were supposed to hate each other, but I loved Adriana. We were going to change our names, run away together, and get married. I would -never- hurt her. Trust me. Per favore," Mancini pleaded and he looked genuinely stricken by grief. He was innocent in this.

"When was the last time you and Adriana made love?" Mancini looked uncomfortable.

"The morning it happened. We went to my flat in Brooklyn. I walked her to the subway station at around 2:00 in the afternoon. If either of our families found out, bad things would happen, I'll put it lightly." he explained.

"If it wasn't you, do you have any idea who could have done this and why?" Casey asked and out of the corner of her eye, saw John writing a few things down on a legal pad. He caught Casey's glare and stopped immediately. Mancini didn't reply, just stared down at his knuckles. "Per favore?" she pressed. He sighed.

"Antonio."

"Who is Antonio?"

"Adriana's fiancé. It was an arranged marriage-she didn't love him," Mancini replied with a note of bitterness. He cracked his knuckles a few times and went back to gripping the edge of the table. 

"This guy is innocent," Fin said as soon as they left the interrogation room. Casey nodded, but didn't say anything, kept walking. "Hey! Where are you going!" he called after her.

"Arraignment," she replied coolly. Fin caught up with her and grabbed her arm. "Look. I'm buying you time. We play into whatever the killer's game is, pinning the blame on Mancini. We get a warrant, pretend it's for Mancini, and you have three days to find me a real killer. If we're lucky, our mastermind will let his guard down," Casey explained and Fin raised an eyebrow, but didn't question her further.

"How does the defendant plead?"

"Not guilty, Your Honor. The people have no case," Amando said matter-of-factly. "I have to say, though, I'm both surprised and disappointed in you, Novak. I thought you had more class than this," he continued and Judge Linda Perez raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Counselor?" she prompted and Casey slammed her hands on the table.

"The people request remand, Your Honor. Lanzo Marcini was the last person seen with the victim before she was assaulted and killed. His fluids were found inside her body. Lanzo Marcini is a rapist and a murderer! Are we really going to put him back on the streets?" Casey demanded. She didn't feel guilty-she was just doing her job.

"My client was in a relationship with the victim. He slept with her, but he didn't kill her!" Amando exclaimed incredulously. Judge Perez rolled her eyes and slammed her gavel.

"Bail is set at $100,000. Trial date in three days. Next case!" 

"What the hell was that? Couldn't you have at least let him walk for right now? You sent an innocent man to Rikers while a killer walks free!" Fin exclaimed. "Do you even feel a shred of remorse?" he continued.

"Remorse is for the weak. I was doing my job. We all have choices to make, Detective Tutuola, and I've made mine." She turned on her heel and walked out of the courthouse.

"Your life was just full of choices, wasn't it counselor?" he called down the steps. She twisted her head and looked up at him somberly.

"Yeah. Not all of them mine." 

"So, tell me, how are defense attorneys in the bedroom?" Jackie Davis's face turned bright red and she splashed some of her margarita down her front. Melinda laughed and Olivia smirked.

"Yes, do tell," she pressed.

"Shut up! How's the suffering artist?" Jackie fired back at Melinda.

"You know what this means, ladies. We're going around in a circle starting with Jackie," Olivia said and sipped her iced tea.

"Only if Olivia gets a drink," Jackie giggled, but Casey saw the look of pain in her friend's features. She was probably the only one at the table who knew why Olivia didn't drink. She'd seen it destroy her family.

"Ease up, Jack," she said and snapped her fingers to summon the bartender. "Another bourbon whiskey over here, please!" she called and he nodded.

"Casey! You know I -"Olivia started, but Casey held up a finger to shush her.

"It's mine, genius. Now, since you suggested it, why don't you start," she said. The bartender brought her another glass, she downed it in one swift gulp and handed it right back. "You can go ahead and bring another of those," she muttered, while Olivia still looked exasperated.

"Really...because my sex life is so entertaining seeing that I'm dating a cop and all that. Besides, Elliot and I are busy. We're usually too tired to, you know," she sighed.

"Jesus Christ Olivia Benson! Get a move on! I want to be an aunt before I'm forty, and that's coming fast!" Casey exclaimed and Jackie started laughing. Melinda face-palmed.

"Have your own kid, then!" Olivia fired back.

"Oh yeah. That would go over well with my superiors. I said aunt, not mother. I'm not Mommy material. Anyway, Jackie's turn. Tell us, is Amando as suave in bed as he tries to be in court?" she asked slyly leaving Jackie speechless.

"Well...he's...very sweet. And tender..." she murmured and Olivia erupted with laughter.

"Is he tender, Jackie? Like a fine piece of meat, medium rare?"

"Wonderful, ladies. I go up against Amando in court in three days and now, I'm going to have some fucked up mental images that don't need to be there," Casey said with a smirk.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus. Melinda's turn-must be nice to date someone removed from work, right? How's Cody?" Jackie asked and Melinda blushed.

"I like him a lot-he's sweet. He...wrote me a song on the guitar," she said rather bashfully and couldn't help the giggle that escaped her.

"Well, that's very sweet, but you know what we mean."

"Liv!" Jackie exclaimed. Casey polished off her drink and smiled. It felt good to relax with her girls outside of work. Melinda slammed her strawberry daiquiri down on the table.

"Fine. We haven't done it yet, happy? It's Casey's turn. Did you and Josh do it yet?" Casey sighed.

"No. And I don't think it will happen," she replied coolly.

"Why?" Three pairs of eyes were upon her.

"Look at my track record. That guy from the other week said he was taking me to dinner...took me to Hooters and stared at some blonde's silicon rack the whole time. Think he was trying to tell me something?"

"But Josh could be-"Melinda broke in, but Casey cut her off.

"AND the guy before that, I screwed twice only for him to end up being the step brother of some bastard I put away for a double homicide. Thought if he fucked me, his brother would get a lesser sentence. The prick before him was god awful in bed and wanted me to quit my job and elope with him. Crazy stalker. Thought I was going to need to write myself a restraining order. I need to be more careful anyway, I keep screwing around, literally, and the wrong guy says something that gets back to my superiors, I could lose my badge. I have plenty of fun coming into the office every day and slaying rapists, murderers, and sleazy defense attorneys. I don't need any more than that," Casey concluded as the bartender slid her another drink. The girls were silent for a minute after that and then got on the topic of some shoes Olivia wanted, but Casey wasn't listening. Her mind was in bed with a combination of her last few exes and she tried to shake the thought. Casey frowned and had another drink.

"Follow East 32nd street to the newsstand at the end of the block, cross the street at the light and make a left down the alleyway. If you want your treasure back, be sure you are alone," Casey read the instructions in her mind once more as she faced the alleyway. She took a deep breath and turned into the darkness, feeling her way around dumpsters and almost glad she couldn't see what she was stepping in. A pair of rough hands grabbed her from behind and shoved her into the wall. Someone else turned on a flashlight, illuminating a man he'd tied up and appeared to have beaten to a pulp. But the man was alive. Breathing. Eyes blinking.

"It would all be a waste if our guest couldn't see the fun, now would it?" the guy with the flashlight smirked and shined the light on the man on the ground once more.

"Oh my god! No! Kill me. Shoot me. Anything you have to do, but please...let him go. He's innocent in this. Your problem is with me," Casey hissed and smacked her elbow down on her captor's wrist.

"Now, now...how very noble of you. We'll just let him go and keep you, how's that?" Casey nodded weakly and watched them untie the man with the long dark hair. He got up and started walking, but not a minute later, a gun went off and he was lying on the ground at Casey's feet. Blood pooled around him and she put a hand on his wound in a struggle to ebb the flow. A third man stepped into their midst, laughing like a madman.

"You're right. You are the problem here. This happened because of you. Destiny is a funny thing, isn't it?" Casey couldn't see. Couldn't breathe.

"NO! NO!"

Casey's eyes snapped open and she became conscious of the fact that she was wrapped up in her bedsheets in a cold sweat. She'd had that dream again. She sighed, slipped out of bed and made her way to the kitchen to get a cup of tea. The digital bedside clock informed her that it was just after 4 in the morning. Was it even worth going back to bed to get up in an hour and a half? Maybe it was high time Olivia knew how Casey had so much time in the mornings. It...wasn't always exactly the same dream, but a similar concept each time. The brutal torture and murder at her hand of a man she'd tried to force out of her conscious mind. A man her subconscious wasn't ready to let go of. A man by the name of Diego Cavallo. Always him. Always her fault.


	3. Chapter 3: Soul's Lament

**SVUNocturne Chapter 3: Soul's Lament**

**A/N: Where is El? I shifted him off to another division of NYPD so he and Liv could be together. Jackie came in as Liv's new partner.  
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>There were a number of things no one knew about Casey Novak, most things, actually. She was social. After all, she worked with people every day and the nature of her job required her to maintain public relations. But she wasn't open. Jackie was an open book, like a lot of people-but Casey and Olivia withheld things and maybe that was why they'd become such good friends, but even they didn't tell each other everything.<p>

Casey was 16 years, 3 months, and 8 days old when Diego Cavallo left her. No warning, no inclination, nothing. He was just done and when he left, he took with him the safe haven Casey had been building for herself around him since she was 13. She'd made it through one of the most difficult times in her life because he wouldn't let her give up. He knew she could handle more than she let on and he pushed her. Right up until he left and even after that. She never knew precisely why he'd walked out then-they'd faced far worse times, but, she supposed, he'd finally hit his breaking point. Because in a way, she'd pushed him, too. She assumed he could handle more than he actually could. She'd never meant to hurt him. Hell, that was the last thing she'd ever have wanted, but sometimes we hurt the most the only ones we really love. And she had loved him. She'd been different then. Young, open to letting love consume her. Everything was "wonderful!", "amazing!", "captivating!", and "beautiful." -He- was wonderful, amazing, captivating, and beautiful. But time was not kind to them and their love was one of those short-lived, bursts of love. The kind you only experience once in a lifetime and then remember as a faded old photograph, a fond snapshot of a time before society jaded you. Things happen, things change. People change. After Diego left, Casey Novak changed, too. It was the little things. A desire to avoid things that reminded her of him. She started waking up earlier and learning to enjoy mornings like she never had before, as she was a night owl. She found peace in the early morning, though, and learned to lap it up, for peace, like youth, like Diego, and like life itself, was transient. She never got angry about it. The rage never came. It started with hurt. A pain stronger than anything she'd yet experienced. Her entire body ached, her shoulders wracked from crying, but no tears fell. She couldn't bring herself to cry. She didn't want to feel another emotion ever again. She couldn't concentrate. She didn't want to think about anything but him, keep him near to her for as long as she could, but at the same time, she wanted to forget he existed. She went into work that day-a part time summer job, but was spent by the time she got home and was ready to go to bed by eight. That was the first day. The second day was when the grim reality started to set in. She made it through the day, but the pain came randomly and without warning. Each time, she shut herself in the nearest hall closet, bathroom, anywhere she could be alone and calm herself. She couldn't stand music. Anything she listened to reminded her of him. In the days following his leaving, she got a genre of music back each day, which was good. She couldn't live without her music. By the second night, the all-consuming pain was replaced by an intense, looming guilt. Regrets. What ifs. She started thinking she could change things, or at the very least, make them as right as in her power. Casey Novak prayed that night. She hoped it wasn't too late to be cleansed of her sins and change the way she treated others. The third day brought the denial-nothing had happened and nothing was wrong. Her little safe haven was intact and everything would go back to normal, they were just in a fight like before. Then, the sympathy poured in. Mutual friends of Diego and Casey checking up on her, asking if she was okay. She avoided all of them and told them to mind their own business. She resented that Diego still talked to her friends, his other friends, while he'd cut her-the unconditional love she'd always promised him and worse yet, that he'd told them. She missed his friendship. By the end of the fourth day, the sympathy was overwhelming. She'd always taken care of herself-she didn't need anyone else and she certainly did not need their pity. They had no idea how she was feeling and the only one who might have understood was the one that caused the pain. But he didn't cause the pain-she'd brought it all on herself. Casey's denial expanded to her denial of his having ever existed. People asked how she was doing after what happened with Diego, to which she responded, "I don't know a Diego." People asked if she and Diego were close, or used to be, and she said they'd never been, which wasn't completely far off the truth. Not far off at all. She consciously pushed him out of her mind and eventually, she didn't have to think anymore. She pretended he was dead. The denial led to an eventual acceptance, probably the hardest step of all. Acceptance meant coming to terms with her pain and letting go. He'd been a part of her life for so long that it was..different to live in a world without him. Not necessarily hard, just different. Unfamiliar. Sometimes, she couldn't help but think about him. She'd hear his voice in her head making commentary on whatever it was or she'd see something he would have enjoyed and feel a pang of memory. She couldn't help but think she'd screwed up a very good thing, but people made mistakes. She had to come to terms with hers. She often equated the feeling to that of a wounded veteran. The war was over, long done with, the fighting had stopped...but sometimes the dreams came at night when she was vulnerable and couldn't help it. At times, the old wound would act up and just like that, it all came back for a short while. She'd have days when she'd just start to feel loneliness and a spasm of pain and not know why. Then, it'd be gone, the wound subdued once more. He was the memory that tugged at her heart strings. He was and remained, the only person in the world who could ever claim to have made Casey Novak cry.

_Friday, March 15th  
>2:30 pm<br>NYPD Squad Room_

  
>"How much headway have we made on the Adriana Russo murder?" Casey asked and Jackie Davis looked up from her laptop.<p>

"Munch and Fin went back over to Adriana's apartment to see what they could turn up about this mysterious "Antonio." They want to have reasonable suspicion before they even bring him in for questioning," she replied and sipped her coffee. Casey nodded approvingly.

"Good, that's smart. I'm not releasing any of this out to the public yet and I don't want the Russos to think we've taken suspicion off of Lanzo for the time being. I do want Lorenzo in here for questioning, though-think you could grab him? Be nice, tell him I need to ask him a few questions about his daughter," Casey said and Jackie grabbed her badge and made to get up.

"Do you want the wife as well?"

"No. We'll play into the male authority god father complex a bit, might get more information out of him," Casey replied and Jackie nodded.

"I'll snag Liv and then we'll head over there. Do you want anything else while we're out? Lunch?" Casey smiled.

"Nah, I'll go grab something-could use a walk anyway, thanks though," she said and Jackie beckoned for Olivia to come over. "Great, well I'm going back to my office, give me a call when you get back with Lorenzo."

Casey opened her office door and sighed. If they didn't find something on Adriana Russo's murder soon, Casey would be forced to drop charges and piss off a mob boss, or go to trial with a case she didn't have and lose (which she was not going to let happen). There had to be something-no crime was completely fool proof. Even the most experienced killer left behind something, even if simply proof of motive. Adriana Russo was killed by the Mafia-that much she knew for a fact, but why? There had to be a reason beyond infidelity. Something Adriana got caught up with, in over her head. She'd had a black hand branded, post-mortem into her chest. It had to be significant and she knew the black hand was a mob connection, just not how or why. She sat down at her desk and opened a google search on "The Black Hand", hoping to jog her memory. She'd never had a reason not to trust Wikipedia. "The Black Hand (La Mano Nera) was a type of extortion racket. It was not a criminal organization, but a method of extortion practiced by members of the Mafia," she read aloud to herself. It started in Naples and came to New York in the mid-1900's...Italian immigrants...Usually against other gangsters...Men and women equally targeted...It made sense. "Typical Black Hand tactics involved sending a letter to a victim threatening bodily harm, kidnapping, arson, or murder. The letter demanded a specific amount of money be delivered to a specific place...decorated with threatening symbols and signed with a hand imprinted in black ink...practices disappeared in the 1920's..." she continued. A copycat crime. If they'd left the hand, maybe they'd left the letter. She reached for her desk phone and dialed Fin's cell phone, hoping he was still at the scene.

"Tutuola," he answered gruffly on the third ring.

"It's Casey, listen-are you still at Adriana Russo's apartment?" she asked briskly and he sighed.

"Yeah. We've been here all damn afternoon and haven't found shit. Did you expect the killer to leave the god damn gun or something?" he snapped.

"Fin," she growled warningly.

"Sorry, this is just a really frustrating case-there's nothing! Not a damn carpet fuzz out of place!" he exclaimed and Casey shushed him.

"Take a walk. Get some fresh air. I need you to find out about Adriana's mail. Try to get a list of all the people who've sent letters to Adriana recently-I have reason to believe this is an extortion case," she explained and he paused before replying.

"I guess...if you have a lead, even a crappy one, I can try to follow up on it." She could tell he was trying to control his angst.

"Great, thank you. The girls just went to grab Lorenzo for me just for questioning. We need to cover all the angles," she continued. He mumbled that it was a good idea and hung up. Casey turned back to her computer and typed in "Russo family-New York" just to see what would come up. She clicked on the first link that came up and it seemed to be a chart of known past bosses and how they died. "Current boss...Lorenzo Russo..." Because she definitely hadn't seen that one coming. The previous boss was a Ramon Russo, presumably Lorenzo's father. He'd disappeared. Before him, was...Busty LaSpina? Casey nearly jumped out of her chair. It had to be a coincidence, but she knew that it wasn't. He'd been -her- son, from the first marriage. She hastily picked up her scarlet beaded handbag off the floor and pulled out the manilla envelope with the Russo genealogy. She paged back to the early days and there it was. Tomás LaSpina "died" and -she- married Luca Russo. Luca died, Busty was boss. So that made her...a Russo. Well, it wasn't too much of a shock. She always knew it was there, just didn't want to come to terms with it. She was Adriana's third cousin. Casey ran a hand through her hair and closed out of the screen. She had to catch this guy-it was starting to get personal. Just then, her cell phone rang sending 3 Doors Down resounding through the cherry-paneled office.

"Casey Novak, Assistant District Attorney-speaking?" she answered briskly as she shoved the manilla envelope into the very bottom of her lowest desk drawer.

"It's Olivia, we're bringing Lorenzo down to the precinct now. I told him you had questions and he was more than glad to oblige if it might help convict Lanzo," Olivia explained. Uncle Lorenzo.

"Lorenzo Russo. Ciao, buon giorno," she greeted in an attempt to sound friendly and held out a hand that he shook politely.

"Casey Novak? The woman who is going to bring my daughter's murderer to...justice," he said with a wicked grin.

"Well yes, but there are a few things I need to ask you, first. We'll use that room," she said and indicated to Interrogation Room 4, which had an open door. He nodded and followed her, but she couldn't help but wonder if he knew who she was, if he knew she knew now, or if he assumed she knew all along.

"Lorenzo Russo, I just want to know a little bit about your daughter-what was her personality like? What kinds of things did she do during the day? Any set routines?" she asked casually and she wasn't lying-anything she could find out about Adriana would be incredibly helpful. Lorenzo shot her a skeptical look and furrowed his brow.

"Well...she worked at a boutique in Queens owned by some Russian woman. I couldn't tell you her days or hours, though. There was a Starbucks down the block from the store and she'd go there at least once a day," he said somewhat gruffly.

"Any enemies? Anyone ever threaten her?" Lorenzo shook his head.

" Not outright. Lanzo followed her around though, harassing her. Adriana never mentioned him though and dismissed my suspicion as his being attracted to her. She, however, was engaged. It's a shame she didn't live to see her wedding day..." he trailed off as if lost in his memories and feelings. Casey pressed on.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Mr. Russo, but what can you tell me about Antonio?" As she suspected, Lorenzo stiffened.

"What of him? He is Antonio Romano and he was engaged to Adriana. It was, of sorts, an arranged marriage, but I am quite sure that she would have accepted it in time. Now, is that all you needed from me? I have a prior engagement this afternoon," he said briskly and popped his felt hat back on. Casey nodded.

"Yeah...you're free to go." She watched his retreating form disappear out of the precinct altogether and hoped she'd done the right thing.

It wasn't a few minutes after Lorenzo Russo left that her cell phone rang.

"Casey Novak, Assistant District Attorney-speaking?" she answered on the first ring.

"Nothing here. Not a damn thing," a familiar voice growled on the other line. Fin.

"Nothing in the mail?" she asked to clarify. She'd wanted so badly to believe that perhaps they'd found a lead, that she wasn't completely screwed for the trial tomorrow.

"Adriana gets bills, advertisements, a subscription to Vogue and the New York Times on a regular basis. She got a few postcards from traveling friends this summer, but that's it," Fin replied as if he knew all along that their search would turn up nothing. That it was a wasted effort. Adriana Russo had been killed by some of the best.

"Lorenzo didn't give anything up, either. Said he didn't know what his daughter did in her free time or if she had enemies, and that Lanzo had been stalking her. Also said her supposed engagement to Antonio Romano (I did get a last name) was arranged," Casey explained dryly, wondering if there was anywhere a small thread to link any of these disjointed facts. There had to be.

"Go talk to Lanzo again; I'm going to find out what I can about the Romano family," he said and she agreed and hung up.

"Something about the case?" Jackie asked, coming up behind her with a tray of California rolls, to which Casey helped herself to one.

"Fin's investigation didn't turn up anything, but I got an identity on Antonio. Last name's Romano, the engagement was arranged."

"Well...that's something, I guess. We can try to find out why it was arranged-financial reasons? Money can drive people to do stupid things," Jackie said and Casey nodded.

"I'm going to talk to Lanzo again, see if there's anything more he can tell me," Casey sighed. It was obvious that there was much more to this case than what it appeared to be.

"Excuse me!" a small girl's voice exclaimed and Casey turned sharply around. Standing in the precinct doorway was a girl of no more than eight with long, wavy brown hair and round, milk-chocolate eyes. "I need to talk to somebody about...Adriana," she said nervously, but clearly when all eyes were upon her. Olivia reached her first.

"What do you know about Adriana?" she asked casually, but looked up at Jackie and Casey with confused and skeptical eyes.

"I'm Isabella Russo. Adriana was my mother." 


	4. Chapter 4: Albinoni Adagio in G Minor

**SVUNocturne Chapter 4: Albinoni: Adagio in G Minor**

**A/N: This is all I have for now-chapter 5 is half done. Read and review, please =)  
><strong>  
>When she was younger, Casey often thought that she was an older woman trapped inside a small girl's body. Later, she realized she was a little girl trapped inside the body of a growing woman. Sometimes that little girl got scared, and today, she reached out to that other scared little girl standing in the precinct doorway.<p>

"Adriana doesn't have a daughter," Casey heard herself say. "You don't believe me," Isabella said slowly and incredulously. Olivia shot Casey a look. "No-listen, we just-" Olivia started, but the little girl cut her off. "My name is Isabella Russo. I usually live with my dad's parents cause I'm not supposed to exist," she said, as if to clarify. "And who are your dad's parents?" Olivia, who was easily the best at dealing with kids, asked. "Vittoria and Filippo," she replied. "If she's for real, Lanzo must be her father," Casey realized and Jackie's eyes widened in understanding. "I'll go see what I can find," she said and walked away still holding the California rolls. Casey turned back to Olivia and Isabella. "I need a statement," she said more to her friend than to the child, but Isabella regarded her with cold eyes. "I'm not talking to you," she said simply. Olivia laid a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder. "That's Miss Casey. She wants to help you," she tried to fight a lost battle. Isabella shook her head. "I'll talk to -you-, you're nice. I'm not talking to her. She's mean and she thought I was lying," she asserted firmly. "It's Miss Casey's job to think people lie. Now, how about if we both talk to you?" Olivia suggested with a casual shrug. Casey smirked and took a step towards them. She didn't like kids much, but in this stubborn, strong-willed little girl, she saw a lot of herself. "First off, don't call me Miss Casey I'm not a kindergarten teacher. Call me Casey Prosecuter Novak, or nothing at all. Second, you want me to believe you, but you're not giving me anything to believe. You want me to trust you? Start talking," Casey said icily and Olivia looked shocked. "Casey! she's a child!" she exclaimed incredulously, but the girl made eye contact with Casey for the first time and locked her in a glare. "First off, don't even think of calling me Bella or Bells. Second of all, I'll talk," she said coolly and Casey smirked at Olivia. She was damn good at her job and would -always- get what she wanted.

"Lanzo is my dad. Adriana is my mother, but I have to pretend my parents are dead and that Adriana is my aunt," she began and Casey and Olivia hung on to every word as they recorded everything she said. "I live with my dad's parents because my mom's dad said I don't exist...but I do exist, so I think he's pretty weird." Lorenzo didn't want Isabella to exist? He must have known then that she was the illegitimate child of a DeLuca. "How old are you, Isabella?"Olivia asked. "I'm eight. My birthday is in October," she replied. So jaded for a second grader. Casey supposed it came from being born into the New York Mafia. "I want you to know that my dad didn't hurt my mom. He loved her and said that we could leave together and be a real family," Isabella continued with the faint trace of a wistful smile. Like Pearl in "The Scarlet Letter." Innocent. None of what happened was her fault. "Then who did, sweetie?" Olivia pressed gently and Casey held back. She didn't do well with sensitive things. People accused her of not having feelings, but if she truly didn't, she wouldn't work the job or the division that she did. Isabella played with the hem of her white blouse nervously. "Well, I was visiting my mom one day and her crazy dad came, he's the guy that says I don't exist. Mom told me to go play in the other room, but I...I stayed and listened to what they talked about. I hid behind the couch while they talked in the kitchen." "What did they talk about?" Olivia asked and Isabella took a deep breath. "He said he needed money so she needed to marry Antonio. He didn't know she wanted to marry my dad. Then...he said Antonio bought her, but I thought he was just being crazy again. I exist and you can't -buy- people, but later, my mom started crying and said she couldn't marry my dad anymore," Isabella was plainly trying to hide the emotion in her voice. She was hurting and rightfully so. Casey tried not to convey her horror and shock. Lorenzo had sold his daughter for money. Sold her like a piece of old furniture for his own gain. "Was your dad mad?" Olivia asked, trying to keep her tone casual and curious. Isabella immediately shook her head. "No. He was sad and he and my mom cried together and he was mad at her dad, the crazy guy," she replied. Casey was seething. She regretted having ever smiled at Lorenzo Russo. Bastard. She looked up at Olivia. "I think we found our blackmail target, the one La Mano Nera was really after-and it wasn't Adriana. She could have been shot because her father wouldn't cooperate," she said and was starting to hate the man. His twisted grin. His gray streaked hair. The eyes she couldn't bring herself to trust, and now, she knew why.

"Isabella Russo is completely legit. She's the illegitimate child of Adriana Russo and Lanzo Mancini. She lives with Mancini's parents, but occasionally visits her mother pretending to be her niece," Jackie explained outside Interrogation Room 3, where Casey and Olivia had just taken Isabella's statement. Olivia had then gotten the little girl a milkshake and left her in the children's room with the TV turned on to a show she liked. "Wonderful. I think we've finally got a trail to follow. I want you and Olivia to go get Lorenzo again, but don't let on that we know. Tell him I just have a few more questions," she ordered firmly and Jackie nodded. "Will do...but Casey? We can't go to trial tomorrow. We need more time," she replied and walked off to find Olivia. Meanwhile, Casey had a few phone calls to make.

"Tutuola," he answered, sounding grouchy as ever. "Fin! I have something! We've been chasing a false trail the whole time!" she exclaimed rather excitedly. "Jesus Christ, Casey, what the hell is it? And it's so refreshing to know that this entire investigation has been a royal waste of my time," he snapped. Definitely in a mood. "Well, it is an extortion case, but Adriana wasn't being blackmailed." "Then what-" he started, but she cleared her throat to stop him. "I'm not finished. Her father was being blackmailed and couldn't come up with the money so he sold Adriana into the arranged marriage with Antonio Romano. The girls are bringing him in now, but I was thinking it's his mail records you should search," she said and she could almost sense his near palpable frustration. "Damnit, Casey. I spent the entire day looking through Adriana's mail and now you want me to start over?" he exclaimed. Casey sighed. She hated to throw this card, but sometimes it was the only thing she could use to bring him back. "You'll do it if you want to keep your job and see that fat ass paycheck at the end of the month." "Very well, but you better be right this time," he growled and hung up.

"More time?" Judge Perez asked curiously. "We've found a new witness that has led us to uncover a number of new trails. We don't need very long, we just can't do this tomorrow," Casey tried to sound earnest, but not too whiny. "Very well. Our mission as officers of the court is to uncover the truth. You have until Monday."

The third call she placed was to Antonio Romano's place of work, a fancy restaurant in central Manhattan. "Is Antonio Romano working tonight?" she asked when a young-sounding girl answered. "Not tonight, no, but he's on for tomorrow afternoon," the girl replied. Casey thanked her and hung up, meanwhile writing "Antonio" into the Saturday space on her calendar. Her cell phone rang. "Casey Novak, Assistant District Attorney-speaking?" she answered hurriedly and she heard Fin laugh on the other end. "It's funny that you never check your caller ID," he said and Casey took his joking attitude to be a good sign. "Someone's in a good mood, what did you find?" she asked. "Only a record of about 25 letters sent to Lorenzo Russo from Giovanni De Luca. Russo didn't reply to a single one," he replied. Pietro's son. "Pay up, bastard, I was right," she said with a smirk. If she had a nickel for every time Fin didn't believe her when she was right, she'd be a very rich woman and wouldn't have to work another day. "Seriously though, I'm about to head out for the night. You guys can pick him up in the morning and I'll take a statement. The trial was pushed back to Monday. I didn't mention proving against Lanzo, since that would present a raft of issues and make our investigation all the more difficult. What Judge Perez doesn't know won't hurt her, although we're going to have to tread carefully if we're going to keep my credit," she continued. " That works. Any big plans for tonight?" he asked. "Well, considering it's..."Casey sighed and checked the clock on her computer. "...almost nine, I'll grab some dinner and head home. I have to prepare some paperwork for summoning Giovanni and getting a search warrant for Lorenzo's house to look for the blackmail letters now that we have reasonable suspicion," she continued and she heard Fin laugh on the other end. "Well, have fun with all that legal crap," he said. "Have fun getting a statement from Lorenzo-don't hurt him, I don't need ethics hounding me over your ass again. Good night," she said. "Night," he replied and hung up.

Casey shut her computer down and took a few minutes packing up, but a knock at her office door caused her to jump. "Come in," she said and was surprised when Isabella Russo opened the door.

"I was just wondering...where I should go now. My Nonni?" she asked shyly. "No, you're going to need to stay with us tonight until we're finished the investigation. Olivia or Jackie will probably take you home," Casey replied. It was customary for either Olivia or Jackie to let kids stay with them when they needed to testify in a family case. Now that they knew the blackmail was coming from the De Luca family, they couldn't risk sending Isabella back yet. Who knew what they'd do if they found out she went to the police? "Oh," the girl murmured, but she was looking down at Casey's desk. At a necklace lying across a legal pad-a sterling silver sun with a jade star, an onyx moon, and a turquoise star suspended from it and laced along a black cord. Casey saw her looking. "Want to see something special?" she asked and Isabella nodded. Casey pressed on the sun, revealing it to be a box of sorts. Inside, was a silver moon intertwined with a heart. "It's pretty," the little girl murmured with an enchanted smile. "Custom made. Only one like it in the world. Hey Isabella, Olivia and Jackie probably won't be leaving for awhile yet, do you want to grab some dinner?" Casey asked somewhat awkwardly. A part of her felt bad for getting off on the wrong foot with the kid earlier-she wasn't any worse than Casey was at that age.

They went to a cheap Indian restaurant called Natraj in downtown Manhattan. It was dimly lit, near empty, and smelled strongly of cheap incense. Perfect. Isabella looked a bit nervous and hung close to Casey when the older Indian woman emerged from a back room in a yellow sari, squinting as if to see them better. "Namastē, Casey Novak!" she exclaimed and Isabella jumped. "Hey, Pravna, it's been awhile- Āpa kaisē haim? how's business?" Isabella had never heard anyone speak Hindi before and she was afraid of this woman with the long, wispy silver hair and the red dot in the center of her forehead, like an open wound dripping ruby blood. "Aah. Business...gavārā, you know...working on a case?" Casey nodded in reply and sighed. "This...is an interesting one, I'd tell you more, but I'd honestly be afraid you'd have to fear for your life," she explained and Pravna gave a knowing look. "One of those-ēk a ēka a gandā," she said in a voice full of wisdom. Casey was distracted...she thought she had a lead, but she thought she did before, too. Pravna seemed to notice her distraction. "Two? Part of your case, I would think-sit, sit, baithanā. I'll bring you some spicy curry and your usual chicken tandoori," she said and gestured to a small table with a stained purple table cloth and a small statue of a Buddha in the center. "Śukriyā," Casey murmured to Pravna's retreating back as she and Isabella sat down on opposite sides of the table. "She talks funny," the little girl said once Pravna was out of earshot. Casey couldn't help but be amused. "She's not from America, she's from India-do you know where that is?" she prompted and Isabella rolled her eyes. "Of course I do-it's under China...somewhere." Close enough for now, Casey figured. "Have you ever been to India?" Isabella asked curiously. Casey smiled. "I did go to India. It was the summer after my junior year of college and it was beautiful," she replied and the Taj Mahal filled her mind in all it's breath-taking beauty. Dhaval was waiting for her by the entrance to Mysore Palace. She'd taught him to drink, but whiskey didn't suit him.

Casey was shaken from her reverie by Pravna bringing out a tray of food. "Śukriyā," Casey said respectfully and then dug in. Isabella was looking suspiciously at the orange chicken and strange brown, gravy-thick sauce. "It's not poison. I've been coming here since I moved to New York-that's how Pravna knows me so well," Casey explained. Isabella dipped a finger in the curry and sucked it off, but quickly jumped up in surprise. "It's...I need water!" she exclaimed and downed her entire glass in one sitting, much to Casey's amusement. Some liked it hot, some didn't and Casey was in the former category. "Stick with the chicken, then," she said and Isabella tasted a piece reluctantly. "Better," she said after swallowing a lady-like bite. Casey was relieved. She didn't feel like going to another restaurant. "Casey?" "Yeah?" "How'd you get that scar on your face?" The girl had a keen eye. Most people didn't even notice it. "An old college boyfriend tracked me down. Let's just say he took some things that made him not in his right mind," Casey replied dryly. She hadn't thought about him in years. "You mean drugs?" "Yeah. He ended up worse off, though." "Did you fight him?" Casey smiled at her inquisitive nature. Isabella had to know everything-just like Casey always did. "Not really, but Detective Tutuola did when he saw my face," she replied. Damn. He knew how to give her headaches with her superiors when she had to get him out of trouble. Any effort he made to protect her nearly cost him his shield. Casey told him she didn't need protecting. His answer was always the same-"if I don't protect you, who will?"

Casey and Isabella finished their dinner and Casey paid the check, but Pravna waved it away. "You don't pay here," she said, but Casey held it towards her. "I -want- to pay. That was a delicious dinner," she said earnestly and Pravna took it reluctantly, but then broke into a smile. "Saubhāgya, Casey Novak!" "Namastē, Pravna!" Casey called over her shoulder and Pravna waved. To Casey's surprise, Isabella waved back.

They were silent on the subway ride back to the precinct, but on the steps outside, when Casey bid her goodbye, Isabella smiled. "Grazie," she murmured and Casey couldn't help but smile herself. "Prego, ragazza. Arrivederci!" she called at the retreating form of Isabella running up the precinct steps.

Casey wasn't quite ready to go back to her lonely apartment and work all night, so she stopped first at a little bar around the corner that she and a number of other detectives and attorneys often frequented during a rough case simply because of its convenience. The bell over the door jingled when she walked in and she took a seat at the center of the bar counter, not too far left or right. The bar was all about politics and in this case, it was better to be in the center and not too far left or right. She ordered straight whiskey with a hint of bourbon, just like always, and after she drank her first few shots, she went more slowly, taking in her surroundings. Something about the man seated on the far left caused her to do a double take. He looked so much like...but it was! Amando Bellini was sitting in the same bar, just a few seats down, seemingly alone and drinking a shot of something, staring down into his glass, probably coming up with a new world philosophy. She would have said something, after all, they were great friends, but she didn't want to disturb him. He noticed her first. "Good evening, counselor," he said. Casey turned sharply to face him. "Hey, Bellini," she said. "So the trial got moved?" Casey went into defensive prosecutor mode. "How did you know the trial was moved?" she asked suspiciously-that information was supposed to be classified within the department. Amando looked amused.  
>"I'm going to be defending whomever you end up charging when you release Lanzo," he said. Casey's mind went into a state of alarm and she let her eyes bore into Amando's like a heat ray.<br>"How did you know anything about that? Did Jackie tell you?" Amando shook his head immediately. "No...no...don't blame Jackie. Be glad you have good credit with Judge Perez," he replied sharply and Casey frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked cautiously. He sighed. "It means...that she knew exactly what was happening and didn't say anything because you've always come through in the past. She knows that you're good at what you do and make good decisions," he explained and Casey smirked. "So...it looks like I'm finally going to get a chance to try to match the power of the great Amando Bellini. Don't underestimate me," she retorted. Amando raised his eyebrow. "I'd be careful to not let your dream of beating me in court impede your judgment about the case." "I could tell you the same thing," Casey said smoothly in reply. They were silent after that, polished off their drinks, which the bartender was quick to refill, probably because he heard them talking about being lawyers. Casey had a few more shots and she and Amando talked about this and that, all the while, she drank in the scent of his cologne-woodsy, with a hint of something exotically spicy. She liked the way he talked with his hands and was tempted to ask him to describe a spiral staircase just to watch him. The next song came on-a hit from the 70's, Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield." She was tempted to get up and dance-how could one not to this song? She looked down and Amando's hand was on her wrist. "May I interest you in a dance, counselor?" he asked, surprising her, but in a pleasant way. She slipped her hand into his and he ran his fingers over her long red nails as he led her to the dance floor on the other side of the room. They danced like they were meant to-fast, but graceful, they moved together. "Heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands," she sang along and he smiled. Every part of them became a dancer-their arms, their feet, their faces-the entirety of their beings.  
>She never really noticed before how...hot he was. His brown eyes seemed to have a gold undertone to them and his arms were tan and somewhat ripped, as though begging her to fall into them. Every time he twirled her, she gripped his bicep tightly and followed his lead. Then, he followed hers. "We are young," she hissed in his ear on one of the twirls and, as if suddenly ignited by something, he snaked his arms around her back and pulled her into him. "mmm," she murmured and moved her hips with a finesse she'd learned in her youth. The song ended and she turned around to face him again, but pressed her cheek lightly against his chest. He put his arm around her and, from somewhere, came the sound of classical piano music. Someone was playing on the old, out of tune piano in the back corner of the southwestern-style bar. "Nocturne in B-flat minor," Amando said quietly and took Casey's hands again. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever heard, and what was even more beautiful, was their dance. Slow and tender, like two swans. Her eyes searched his face for an answer he didn't have, either. She looked at his lips, not consciously, of course-her body was driven by desire, and it was desire that fueled her dance.<br>His hands traveled to her hips and rested there. Then, it happened. Her lips were on his, his on hers. She parted her mouth, allowing him access and they felt something they'd always repressed, never acted on until tonight. It was more than a drunk kiss. Heck, Casey felt sober. It was a little sloppy at first, but got more refined as they started to get used to each other. His hands traveled to her chest and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her. They made out like two teenagers right there in the bar. Well, two very experienced teenagers. Who ever said that lawyers didn't have it had never met Amando Bellini. Finally, panting, they broke away for air. "That was fun," she laughed to break the awkward silence. "We shouldn't have done that," he said, but didn't let go of her. It hit her then, that she'd just been to second base with her friend's boyfriend. "Jackie..."Casey murmured, suddenly feeling guilty. "She doesn't have to find out," Amando said shortly and Casey nodded. Amando rehooked Casey's bra and kissed her one more time before leaving the bar. She stayed behind and had a few more shots after he left, finding solace in silence and thinking about the case. She went home, showered, and changed into some comfortable Baby Phat loungewear, not even thinking about what happened, as if it rolled off of her. Meanwhile, Amando was in the shower washing off the smears of her red lipstick, thinking distractedly about the sparkle in her emerald green eyes, the firmness of her legs. The next day, they'd walk by each other at the precinct and say their standard "good afternoons" as if nothing had happened.

**A/N: More to come if hurricane Irene doesn't wipe me off the map ;)**


	5. Chapter 5: Bother

**Nocturne Chapter 5: Oh Haupt voll Blut and Wunden/Bother**

**After:**

Casey returned to her apartment late that night, but smiling from ear to ear in what was often described as the "after sex glow." She could still feel his hands on her body, gentle and tender. The sensation of his arms around her when they fell asleep together afterwards. She'd dreamed about it for what was seemingly forever, but it was better than anything she'd ever experienced or thought she could experience. Now that she had him and he wanted her as badly as she wanted him, she had no intention of -ever- letting him go. A knock at the door sounded and she wondered who could possibly want to see her at this hour. She put down the teabag she was holding and made her way to the door, thinking it was either work related or...well, maybe he didn't want to be without her, either. But looking through the peephole, she didn't recognize the man outside. He was wearing a black uniform of some sort and she saw him hold up an official-looking badge. He was some sort of special police-so she was sure his call was work-related. She opened the door only slightly hesitantly. "May I help you, officer?" "I need to see some identification," he said gruffly and Casey grabbed her bag off the hook by the door and produced her driver's license and prosecutor's badge. "I don't really understand-" "Ma'm...Miss Novak, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me," he said gruffly, and Casey didn't really have a choice but to follow him out of the building.

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>Wish I was too dead to cry<br>My self affliction fades  
>Stones to throw at my creator<br>Masochists to which I cater  
><em>  
><em>Saturday, March 16th 2023<br>7:30 am  
>NYPD Squad room<br>_

"Anything out of Lorenzo last night?" Casey asked. She hadn't even bothered going to her own office, but instead, went straight to the precinct to talk to Olivia. She sighed and put down her cup of coffee. "He, somewhat shamefully, confirmed everything Isabella told us. He said Giovanni was threatening him and demanding money, but he didn't go to the police because that's just not how things are done. He had nothing left to give that wouldn't bankrupt the family, but he knew the Romanos were looking for a prominent bride for Antonio, so he bargained that if they paid him, he'd let Antonio marry Adriana. They made the deal, but despite everyone's best effort, since Adriana was still seeing Lanzo, Antonio found out and said the deal was off. He said our best bet is to suspect Antonio and it makes sense. He gave all that money for an adulterous bride and then couldn't even get the money back because Lorenzo had already used it to pay off Giovanni," Olivia explained and she was right, it did make sense. Perhaps too much sense. "Munch and Fin are bringing in Giovanni. We're setting up the pretense that we just want to talk to him about his grandson, Lanzo," Casey replied. "Good. Just remember, polite and respectful goes a long way with the Mafia," Olivia reminded her and Casey raised an eyebrow. "Trust me. I know how to handle these guys," she said. "As concerning as that is, that's probably a good thing," Olivia remarked over her shoulder as she walked back over to the coffee for her second cup of the morning. Casey was grateful that they may have finally caught their break with this case. "Hey counselor! Fancy you already being here! -I- brought you a present!" Casey turned around to see Chester Lake (Elliot's partner) actually skipping around the squad-room like a Christmas elf. He pointed into Interrogation Room 2 and Casey saw through the glass window, a man of about 75 with sleek white hair, Giovanni De Luca, sitting at the table. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight before her. "Jesus Lake...what the -hell- are you on?"she hissed and he responded by grabbing her hand and pulling her along with him. "We're finally going to close the case, hurrah, hurrah," he sang to the tune of "The Ants Go Marching In." "Idiot," she muttered, but it was with a tone of amusement. She pulled away from him and they took on a more serious demeanor in entering the Interrogation Room to talk to Giovanni De Luca, both obviously hoping to finally get the information they needed.

_You don't need to bother  
>I don't need to be<br>I'll keep slipping farther  
>But once I hold on I won't let go till it bleeds<br>_  
>"So, why did you send Lorenzo Russo all those letters?" Casey asked and Giovanni just smiled at her; so far, he wasn't trying to deny anything. "They were reminders," he replied smoothly, still smiling. "For?" "His family screwed my father out of a lot of money and I was reminding him that the right thing to do would be to give it back." "So you sent over 25 reminders?" Casey prompted. "Bastard never wrote me back-how was I supposed to know he was even getting them? I sent the same letter every time," Giovanni De Luca said and he shrugged as if to assert that anyone else would have done the same thing. "But he had a plan to get you the money?" "Ah. Yes. Not one I was particularly fond of-selling his daughter, but I suppose it shows just where the priorities of the Russo family lie," he retorted. "Hm. But he was able to pay you off," Casey pressed and a noticeable change came over the older man's demeanor. "He never gave us the money. I don't know what he spent it on, but it wasn't paying my father back. It wasn't what he'd promised," he growled. Casey was confused. "He didn't give you any of the money from selling Adriana?" she asked again to clarify, and Giovanni shook his head. "Not a dime."<p>

Instead of taking a lunch break, Casey went back to her office, more confused than she was earlier this morning-now, there seemed to be a substantial amount of money missing. What did Lorenzo spend it on? He'd sold his own daughter to get Giovanni off his back and when he finally had the chance to, he didn't take it. Had the Romanos even given it to him? Maybe he was in trouble with them, too, saw them as a greater threat, and sold them Adriana to pay them off. She typed "De Luca" into her google search bar and a Wikipedia article came up first. "Current boss...98-year-old...Pietro De Luca? Bastard was still alive. She wanted to see what he looked like, see what eyes Sáratríz had been forced to look into while he tortured her. She was going to get something on him to make him testify on Monday, and then, she was going to make him confess in front of the court, what he'd done to her great-grandmother. She hit the seven on her speed dial.

_Wish I was too dead to care  
>If indeed I cared at all<br>Never had a voice to protest  
>So you fed me shit to digest<br>_  
>"Fin? It's Casey-listen, I need you to bring in Pietro De Luca. He's still alive and acting boss of the family, I want to see if he can give us some answers if we put him and Giovanni in a room together," she suggested. "Best idea you've had all morning. I'll get right on it."<p>

"Pietro De Luca...it really is my pleasure," she said with a phony smile plastered in place. He was shrunken and old, but all but feeble. "Really, the pleasure is all mine, Miss Novak," he replied and extended a wrinkled hand. She noticed he was nearly toothless. She shook his hand somewhat reluctantly, almost afraid she'd snap and squeeze too hard. Elliot wouldn't be one to stop her, obviously. His eyes were tiny, beady brown beatle-looking specks. Like something out of a nightmare. Casey swallowed nervously and tried to look anywhere but those eyes...but Sáratríz had looked into these eyes while she was brutally raped, so Casey could handle it. "Pietro and Giovanni...we're not looking for unjust defamation of your family. We're not looking to disrupt your lives if you're innocent. What we need, is information relating to the homicide of a young woman. Lanzo Mancini is innocent, but to clear your family, we need information, we need to know what you know about Lorenzo and Adriana Russo," she prompted and the men looked at each other and then back at her. "Let me rephrase that...if you talk, I'm willing to drop all charges against Lanzo Mancini and offer him full immunity. We're officers of the court just trying to get to the truth, but there's no reason why there shouldn't be any incentive for the ones who brought us there," she continued with a smirk, trying to play a game she knew they'd respond to. Giovanni broke first. "Lorenzo and his father Ramon cheated my father...out of much money. Lorenzo said he was selling his daughter Adriana to pay us back," he explained. "Good, now what can you tell us about the man Adriana Russo was supposed to marry?" she asked, but Elliot scoffed. "They're telling us stuff we already know," he growled, but Casey shushed him. "Antonio Romano's family paid Lorenzo, but Antonio left Adriana when he found out she was having an affair," Giovanni replied with a shrug. So money was exchanged. "I don't need the money," rasped Pietro, speaking for the first time. Casey raised an eyebrow and fixed him with a stare. He smiled eerily. "I just want to bring the Russo family down, drag their pathetic name through the mud and burn it for what it is. I know what you're going to ask me and yes, I will testify at your trial."

_I wish I had a reason  
>My flaws are open season<br>For this, I gave up trying  
>One good turn deserves my dying<br>_

"So Antonio Romano looks like our new prime suspect," Casey said after they, somewhat hesitantly, sent the two older men home. Despite his age, Pietro De Luca was deemed completely fit to testify. "Great. So we bring Antonio in, get a confession, call it a day," Elliot said casually and Casey wished it could be that easy. "I'm going to get Liv and Jackie on it right away, Antonio should be at work by now."

"I left the bitch, but I didn't kill her," he growled. He didn't have the same charm as the men of the other families, so maybe the Romano name had less honor associated with it. Antonio slammed his hands down on the table. "Honestly! What the hell would I stand to lose? That money was my father's, it didn't matter to me-and no, my dad didn't shoot the whore either, if he had a problem with anyone, it was her cocky ass father who thought he was better than everyone else," he snarled. "You're getting pretty worked up over this for a supposedly innocent man," Casey pointed out and Antonio stood up and slammed the chair back into its place. He went for Casey grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her up against the wall. "I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!" he spat and Casey flipped him off her, but Elliot was on him in an instant. "Is that how you get your sick kicks? Threatening women?" he snarled while pinning Antonio to the ground. "Elliot! Elliot! Stop! I'm fine!" she exclaimed and Elliot reluctantly released him. "Bastard." "You don't have a thing to hold me on," Antonio said with a devilish glint in his eye. "Au contraire, we have you on assaulting a federal prosecutor," she reminded him and couldn't help sounding like she was mocking him, which she most definitely was.

_You don't need to bother  
>I don't need to be<br>I'll keep slipping farther  
>Once I hold on I won't let go till it bleeds<em>

"And on the murder of Adriana Russo." Casey looked up as John Munch entered the room with an envelope. "What the hell?" Antonio protested. "Well, you have motive, opportunity, and your fingerprints were found at the scene of the crime," he said and handed Casey the envelope from forensics. "Is this for real?" she asked in disbelief. "Thank the mad skills of lab tech Lily Passerini. The prints were faint and a little smudged like he tried to wipe them, but a definite match all the same," he replied. "Well. Add murder 1 to his charge of assaulting a prosecutor," Casey said with a smug smile, thinking maybe it was finally coming to an end.

"All charges have been dropped on Lanzo Mancini. We're ready to indite Antonio Romano," Casey said later on to Olivia, who nodded. "Hey Case?" "Yeah?" "I'm going to be here late taking care of all this...would you mind taking Isabella with you tonight? She has her bag of things with her." Olivia was hesitant in her request, probably because she knew Casey wasn't very fond of children. Casey let out a long, deep sigh. "I...I suppose I can manage it," she finally said and Olivia smirked. "Big scary badass prosecutor can't handle a child for a night," she remarked slyly and Casey was determined, as was her nature, to prove her wrong. But she was too jaded for kids.

_Wish I'd died instead of lived  
>A zombie hides my face<br>Shell forgotten with its memories  
>Diaries left with cryptic entries<br>_  
>Casey opened the door to her apartment with Isabella trailing a considerable distance behind her. "Diablo!" she called and the obedient black pitbull ran to the door immediately. Casey was scratching behind his ears when Isabella reached the doorway. "Aren't those dogs supposed to be really bad?" she asked and Casey shrugged in response. "They're very misunderstood creatures," she replied dryly. "I still don't like you," the little girl said coldly as she followed the young prosecutor into the living room. "Wonderful," Casey muttered under her breath, wondering what she'd gotten herself into.<p>

_You don't need to bother  
>I don't need to be<br>I'll keep slipping farther  
>But once I hold on I'll never live down my deceit<em>


	6. Chapter 6: Everybody's Fool

**Nocturne Chapter 6: Light and Shadow/Everybody's Fool**

**A/N: Let's see how our favorite ADA tackles parenting for a day =P Also, did you guys notice I slipped Lake back in? I always liked him. As always, reviews are very much appreciated. Thanks, ~platarozaluna  
><strong>  
><strong>After:<br>**  
>"The Witness Protection Program? I don't need protection. I have detectives Tutuola, Munch, Lake, and Davis, both Stablers, and my...best friend." She didn't know what to call him anymore. They were more than friends, obviously, but hadn't declared anything. "I'm a black belt. I have a pitbull and a gun," she continued, trying to get the officers who'd shoved her into the black van to see reason.<p>

"Threats have been made on your life," the officer sitting in the back next to her said. There were three. The guy that brought her, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, the one who was already there sitting in the back, and the driver who didn't speak at all.

"Threats are always being made on my life-isn't there another way?" she snapped. They obviously didn't know a damn thing about her job-she had protection. She had NYPD, Diablo, and her own badassery.

"You of all people should know these people don't play. They have ways to get things done quickly and efficiently," the officer in the front, her captor, tried to remind her, but Casey couldn't help rolling her eyes. 

"This is all very fun and all, but there's someone I need to tell. A few people, if you'll graciously permit me," she hissed sarcastically and pulled out her cellphone. The officer to her immediate left had it in an instant, dropped it to the floor, and crushed it beneath his heavy black shoe.

"As of right now, you don't exist anymore. As far as they're concerned, Casey Novak is dead."

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>Perfect by nature<br>Icon of self indulgence  
>Just what we all need<br>More lies about a world that_

_Sunday, March 17th 2023  
>10:00 am<br>Casey Novak's Apartment_

"MISS CASEY!" She popped her eyes open to see a mop of wavy brown hair hanging over her.

"Damnit! What the hell.." she mumbled, half asleep.

"Well, I called you a bunch of times and you didn't wake up, so I -had- to scream," Isabella said matter-of-factly.

"Well it's Sunday, my only day to sleep in and not have work, so leave me the fuck alone," Casey hissed and pulled a silk pillow over her face.

"I'm not supposed to use those words," Isabella replied. Casey was starting to get pissed.

"I am," she snarled.

"I want breakfast." Casey pulled the pillow off her face and shot the little girl a dark glare.

"There's takeout in the fridge, pick something," she snapped, but Isabella shook her head.

"I want real food," she said.

"I don't have any food," Casey growled, expecting Isabella to give up and leave, but she'd underestimated the child entirely.

"Then it's time to go the grocery store."

_Never was and never will be  
>Have you no shame? Don't you see me?<br>You know you've got everybody fooled  
><em>  
>"So...what do kids eat?" Casey asked awkwardly as she slid a shopping cart out of place. Isabella had insisted on going to Giant and buying "real food" and Casey had let herself get bullied by an eight year old.<p>

"Let's get pasta!" the little girl exclaimed and Casey rolled her eyes. She used to cook a lot when she was younger, but living alone and getting home late, she didn't see a reason to cook anymore.

"How does Easy Mac and root beer sound to you?" she asked and Isabella looked shocked. Her jaw dropped.

"That...will give me cancer," she said simply.

"I thought kids liked to eat that shit," she muttered. Isabella rolled her eyes.

"Make me...Penne! Come on, Casey-it's easy!" she pleaded and Casey sighed.

"Fine. Go get me the penne pasta and butter that you want and then meet me in the produce section," she growled and Isabella just looked incredulously at her.

"I'm eight years old. Are you really going to let me wander around by myself?" she asked.

"Damnit. It's a small grocery store with like, two senior citizens...it's fine. Just grab the stuff and come to the produce section-which you can't possibly miss-I'm trying to expedite things," she replied shortly. Isabella raised an eyebrow and Casey raised hers back. The little girl shot her one last annoyed look, but walked off towards the food aisles anyway as Casey pushed the cart up to produce.

"Excuse me? Ma'm?" Casey turned around to see a mousey looking woman with short brown hair stacking cans of soup and waving her over. She sighed.

"What?"

"Not to infringe on your parenting, I'm sure you're a great mom, but maybe you haven't lived around here very long. She really shouldn't be walking around alone." Stupid interfering, nosy woman.

"Listen..." she checked the woman's nametag pinned to her green Giant apron. "Janet. I've lived here nearly eight years, for one. And, she's not my kid. I'm just trying to get through the day," she replied, not caring how snarky she sounded. The woman's demeanor turned sterner.

"Do you have children?" she asked pointedly. Ha.

"Seriously? I hate kids. I'm not a motherly type. I'm doing this as a favor for a friend for the day. Now...if you'll excuse me, I'd like to finish my shopping," she hissed and pushed the cart away.

_Look here she comes now  
>Bow down and stare in wonder<br>Oh how we love you  
>No flaws when you're pretending<br>_  
>Casey had gotten the red peppers, onions, and summer squash by the time Isabella came back with a box of penne pasta and butter sticks. She neglected the tomatoes because she was allergic and the zucchini, mushrooms, and peas because of sheer revulsion. Isabella looked suspiciously at the limited contents of the cart, but didn't comment.<p>

"We need cheese," Casey murmured and they set off to get parmesan, fontina, and mozzarella.

"That's everything," the girl said, looking at the round mozzarella ball with great interest.

"Since we're here, there's a few things I need. How do you take your coffee?" Isabella's jaw dropped.

"I'm not allowed! And you shouldn't have it either!" she exclaimed and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"Cinnamon Vanilla work, then? Great."

_But now I know she  
>Never was and never will be<br>You don't know how you've betrayed me  
>And somehow you've got everybody fooled<em>

"Can I help make the food? Per favore?" she stood at the archway leading into the kitchen and looked genuinely interested in helping, even excited. Maybe she wasn't all that bad. Casey took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

"-My- Nonni always made them with roasted vegetables. I pre-heated the oven for the pasta already, but you can help me prepare the vegetables."

"What do I do?"

"I have the peppers, squash, and onions on this sheet. Add a pinch of salt, a hint of black pepper, and some dried herbs."

Dinner was a quiet affair. Quieter than when Casey was alone, if possible. It was a denser silence, an almost uncomfortable one. Casey swallowed a mouthful of pasta while Isabella pushed hers around.

"I'm going to play back my voicemails," she said, but it was to the air. The child didn't acknowledge her. Casey rolled her eyes, crossed the room, and pressed the red button on the answering machine. Diablo looked up as she passed, apparently annoyed at being woken up.

"Hey Casey-what the hell is this I hear about Antonio Romano? You can't just change suspects and ask me to testify-" She skipped to the next one and made a mental note to call Melinda later.

"Casey? It's Josh. I was kind of hoping you could call me later."

"Casey? It's Josh again...please call me when you can, thanks."

"Me again. Seriously? Do I have to make an appointment to talk to my girlfriend? *sigh* I'm sorry, but it's your day off-have a minute?"

Casey clicked off the answering machine, ran a hand through her thick red hair and sat back down at the kitchen table.

"You should call him."

"You don't even know what you're talking about," Casey fired back.

"He's your boyfriend, right? Yeah, I understand. Call him back." As if on cue, the phone started ringing and Casey looked over at the caller I.D. "It's him, isn't it?" Isabella asked and Casey nodded as she picked up the phone. The child gave her a thumbs up as she left the room to answer.

_Without the mask  
>Where will you hide?<br>Can't find yourself  
>Lost in your lie<br>_  
>"Hey, what's up?" she asked hesitantly.<p>

"Hey...why didn't you meet me earlier?" She bit her lip.

"I have a kid staying with me," she replied.

"You could have brought her. We could have eaten at a nice family restaurant and gone to a movie," he said and she sighed.

"She's involved in a homicide case-well, being called in at trial," Casey explained and she heard his irritated intake of breath.

"It's your day off-you're not a doctor on call. I haven't seen you all week."

"Come over, then," she replied, slightly annoyed.

"Not the point. How important -is- your job to you? More important than your relationships?" he asked. Casey was silent for a minute, figuring out how to rephrase what she usually told the dick guys. Josh at least deserved the nice version.

"It's important to me, yes," she finally said.

"I heard a rumor you got a supreme court nomination or recommendation or something..."

"Well that's ridiculous. I'm too young, too inexperienced, and too controversial. You should check where you're getting your gossip from," she snapped in a tone that was more irritated than she intended for it to be.

"Let me ask you this, then. What if you were someday, would you accept?" he asked curiously.

"What can I say? I love my sex crimes and homicides. I'm happy here. I'm good at what I do, and I like to be good. Who knows if I'd be good there? Maybe it's a power trip. This is -my- courtroom," she replied coolly and confidently.

"That's only a little arrogant," he muttered sarcastically. She was actually amused.

"I am. I thought you said it was sexy."

"It is...but...you're such an enigma, Casey."

"I've been told that before. I don't try to be."

"Let me ask you this-would you be content to be single?" he asked and she wasn't at all as taken aback as she should have been.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just have to come out and say it. It...it means it's over, but I think you knew that. I was the one that didn't. I tried to make it work-you're great, beautiful-but this isn't the relationship I need. I need something more stable, more consistent, more...reliable," he explained awkwardly. He sounded like he'd been rehearsing this all day and probably was. "Okay, well, thank you for the time we had. You're a nice guy and a nice girl will snatch you up." Casey had lost count of every time she had had to use that line. It was always inevitable.

"So...good bye then, and good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for," he said uncomfortably.

"Yeah...bye, same to you."

_I know the truth now  
>I know who you are<br>And I don't love you anymore  
><em>  
>She quietly hung up the phone and looked around her living room and out the large window that overlooked New York City. The setting sun fell over the deep brown sofa and chestnut coffee table casting a harsh, yet soothing light across the room. There was no record of Josh's having ever existed. No cute couple pictures, no cards exchanged and set on the windowsill...She crossed the room and sat down at the piano bench. She uncovered the keys, closed her eyes, and began to play.<p>

"What's that?" Casey didn't stop playing.

"It's called Nocturne in B flat minor," she murmured in reply and heard Isabella's light footfalls as she approached the piano.

"Casey? Are you okay? You and Josh broke up, didn't you?" The kid was more perceptive than Casey gave her credit for.

"Yeah, we broke up," she murmured. Isabella was silent for a few minutes before speaking.

"That song...is kind of creepy, but nice." Casey smiled.

"This was the first song I ever taught myself on the piano. Well, this and the Moonlight Sonata," she replied and Isabella's eyes widened.

"What's that?" Casey started to play it.

"That's even scarier!" the child exclaimed.

"I always thought so, too. Haunting is a better word. We had a really old antique piano when I was a kid that I learned on and I used to pretend I was in a haunted mansion or in an old saloon when I played this. I imagined I was the ghost of a bride who died of a broken heart from being left at the alter. Only problem was, I couldn't play and dance or creep around at the same time. I remember one Halloween, I got up and started playing this song at midnight. Scared the hell out of everyone," Casey remarked and Isabella laughed.

"Teach me!" she exclaimed.

"Maybe someday."

_It never was and never will be  
>You don't know how you've betrayed me<br>And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

"Why couldn't I just stay at your house? Then you could have taught me piano," Isabella said as they climbed the precinct steps.

"The trial is tomorrow. There are things I need to do," Casey replied simply. She didn't want Amando to accuse her of influencing Isabella's testimony in any way. Olivia and Jackie were waiting by the door, it seemed, to intercept Isabella.

"What? Did you not think I'd have her back?" Casey asked, but their faces did not reflect her amused tone and smirk.

"Jack, take the girl inside." Jackie obliged and ushered Isabella through the precinct doors. Olivia watched them leave and when they were gone, turned back to Casey.

"I'm confused...what's with the stone faces? Did something happen?" Casey asked nonchalantly and

Olivia took a sharp breath. "Lanzo Mancini was just killed."

Casey's night was a sleepless one and she was haunted by images of Diego Cavallo, Adriana Russo, and now Lanzo Mancini, all lying dead in back alleys, eyes staring blankly up at something unseen. She approached their bodies, knelt beside them, and felt their cold skin stiff with rigor. All were killed by something she did. If she hadn't led the public to believe that an innocent man was a vicious killer, he'd still be alive and Isabella would still have a father. All the while, in the background of her dreams, played an old saloon piano.

_It never was and never will be  
>You don't know how you've betrayed me<br>And somehow you've got everybody fooled_


	7. Chapter 7: Round and Round

**Nocturne Chapter 7: Lamentations of the Heart/Round and Round**

**A/N: Thank you, doveinlove for the review! And yes, I have some mob blood as well. That's where some of the story idea came from =) I tried to be as accurate as possible.**

**After:  
><strong>  
>She endured when they chopped her hair off, sending long, thick red locks cascading to the floor. She endured when they dyed it platinum blond. She endured it when they took her red lipstick and replaced it with pink, but couldn't bring herself to apply the foreign substance. She endured having her driver's license taken from her by a tall, Barbie-looking woman who was far too happy. It was replaced with a similar looking one, issued to a short haired blond named Abigail Hawthorne given to her by the driver of the kidnap van-the guy who never said a word. Identity theft Barbie and Life destroying Ken-the modern day Bonnie and Clyde, she thought to herself. They gave her new clothes to change into-a pair of loose fitting light jeans, a pale yellow blouse with a sunflower on the front, and a pair of white wedges. They took her black yoga pants and flip-flops. When they asked her to part with the old shirt she'd been wearing-the one that had been his and smelled like him, Casey didn't want to endure anymore. She snuck it back into her purse if only to hold onto it for a little longer. They drove her three hours in the black van to Philadelphia Airport in Pennsylvania, incidentally not far from where she grew up. The flashing sign at the terminal said she was going to Chicago-but she didn't know if it was permanent. Nothing in her new life was. At any rate, she assumed there was no way she'd be so lucky as to get sent there. A free ticket to be with him, if even under a new name. She sat towards the back of the plane in an aisle seat 22D and wondered if any of the other people around her were in the same predicament. She slipped her fingers around Abigail Hawthorne's driver's license tucked securely in the inside pocket of her purse. Her driver's license. She was Abigail Hawthorne and there was nothing she could do about it, for to the world, Casey Novak was dead.<p>

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>There's one who takes it all<br>And there's one who takes the fall  
>One who never wins<br>And there's one who stands again  
>There's one who lives in pain<br>And there's one who has no shame  
>There's one to tell the lies<br>And one to make the alibis  
><em>  
><em>Monday, March 18th 2023<br>9:30 am  
>District Court<br>Courtroom no. 3  
><em>  
>"We will now begin the trial of the People vs Antonio Romano, charged with 1 count murder in the first degree."<p>

"Casey Novak for the People, Your Honor," she said and tossed her red hair over her shoulder.

"Amando Bellini for the defense," he said and gave a regal half bow.

"Are both sides ready?"

"The defense is ready, Your Honor," Amando replied.

"The prosecution has been ready for quite awhile, Your Honor," Casey remarked coolly. Judge Perez rolled her eyes.  
>"Your opening statements-and Miss Novak, there's really no need for theatrics." Casey gave the judge a small smile and turned to face the jury, hoping that they weren't all total idiots. She gave them a quick once-over and concluded that only about five of them looked ready for trial-the other seven looked like they'd rather be anywhere else, and being that the case involved organized crime, Casey couldn't say she blamed them. She just hoped they at least listened to her opening statement before they zoned out.<p>

_Round and round and round and round we go  
>Where we're gonna stop nobody knows<br>_  
>"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen of the jury and welcome to my courtroom. I'm Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak, representing the People of New York City in this case. Before we begin, I want to give you an overview of the People's case against Antonio Romano and to ask for your undivided attention. I understand that you all lead busy lives and your commitment to serve your civic duty is both commendable and greatly appreciated. That said, your task is not a simple one. The People trust that you have read the facts of the case and are prepared to leave your personal beliefs at the door and render an appropriate verdict and commit to the preservation of justice. Let me say right up front that the People are well aware of the burden of proof we bear in this case, and we are confident that by the end of the trial you will be able to see that we have more than met that burden. A tragedy has occurred. An innocent young woman, her life full of prospect and promise, was unjustly cut short by the man sitting at the table on the other side of this courtroom, leaving behind a grieving family and friends, and an eight year old who doesn't understand why her mother can no longer tuck her into bed. This defendant had the motive, the opportunity, and the means to commit the crime. Forensic evidence links him to the scene of the crime. Witnesses will testify as to the ill feelings between the defendant and the victim. My opposing counsel will try to mislead you. He has no evidence or testimony to counter the findings of the People, but will try to talk you into rendering an innocent verdict. He'll try to win your trust, but I trust you, the Jury, will do your job as many other juries have done before you and see that there is no other choice but to find the defendant guilty on the count of murder in the first degree, if not for anything but justice for the innocent victim and the child she left behind." Casey smiled warmly at the jury and took her seat at the respondents table as Amando approached the jury to give his opening. <p>

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, we have been brought together today because as the People have said, a tragedy has occurred. An innocent, unsuspecting individual was the victim of a senseless act that was undeserved. You or I could just as easily have been involved in the situation leading up to the events that brought us here today. But there is a second tragedy in this case. My client, an outstanding member of this community, who has attended our school system, contributed to our economy, was heavily involved in our church, ready to start his family...stands here today before you wrongfully accused of this horrifying crime. Try to imagine, if you will, what it feels like to be falsely accused of the kinds of things the prosecution wants us to consider. How would you react? What the prosecution has failed to tell you is that there is no real evidence linking my client to the scene of the crime. Certainly, there were ill feelings between my client and the unfortunate victim in this case, but that is and should not be convincing to you or any other group of reasonable people. Ladies and gentlemen, we cannot bring the poor, unfortunate victim back to tell you what happened. My client would, if he only could, to have the truth exposed. Nor should we depend on the kinds of unreliable testimony and shoddy police work you will see exposed in the State's case. Please keep asking yourself the hard questions, and remember there's always another side to every story. As you listen to the prosecution's case, remind yourself that they will not tell you the whole story. It's not their job to do that. They have invested too much of the State's resources already in the misdirected investigation and charging of my client, and it's too late for them to admit they're wrong. My client will be the first to admit he's far from being a perfect person, but haven't every one of us gotten mad at someone sometime? Ladies and gentlemen, promise me you'll listen to the whole story, and prevent another tragedy from occuring-the wrongful conviction of this innocent man." Amando was an affluent speaker, she had to give him that. If he wanted to make this a battle of words, she'd give it to him.

"Court will now take a brief recess to prepare the witnesses. Jurors may get coffee, but must be back in this room by the end of the fifteen minute recess," Judge Perez said sharply and a few jurors cast nervous glances at each other. Casey picked up her bag and walked out of the courtroom for her pre-trial date with the coffee machine.

_There's one who makes the rules  
>And there's one to play the fool<br>(Always a fool)  
>One with jealous hands<br>And there's one to be the friend  
>(Everybody needs one)<br>There's one who wins the fight  
>And there's one who sleeps at night<br>There's one who will stand tall  
>But we will all fall<br>_

"I knew you'd be one to fight for this," Casey murmured, stirring the cinnamon into her coffee. She didn't need to look up-she knew he was there behind her. 

"This is -my- courtroom now," Amando replied simply and he got a cup of coffee for himself. He added half and half and two packets of sugar-how could he win a trial if he couldn't take it black? Casey made eye contact with him and shot him a sly smirk.

"I love a good fight." Amando took a swig of his coffee and raised an eyebrow as he did so.

"Then sharpen your claws. It's go time."

"Let the games begin," Casey retorted smoothly. She was ready to make him regret thinking he ever had a chance of beating her.

_Round and round and round and round we go  
>Where we're gonna stop nobody knows<br>Something's wrong, I feel it in my soul  
>Round and round and round and round we go<em> 

"The People call Giovanni DeLuca to the stand to testify as to the motive of Antonio Romano to kill Adriana Russo," Casey said and watched the well-dressed older man take the stand. He was sworn in and then looked expectantly at Casey.

"Please state your name and occupation for the court."

"Giovanni DeLuca, I work in the...import/export business," he replied with the faint trace of a smirk.

"Import/export business"...funny. "And how did you know Antonio Romano?"

"Well, he was a business acquaintance, but more importantly, his marriage was going to earn me quite a bit of money," Giovanni replied gruffly.

"Could you please clarify for the court just how his marriage affected you-was he to pay you?" Casey prompted.

"No. His bride's father was."

"And who was his bride?"

"Adriana Russo. Her father was going to offer his daughter to the Romano family in exchange for money that he was to pay me, so I had a vested interest in following this marriage," he replied.

"But what happened?"

"Adriana cheated, so Antonio ended the engagement despite the fact that his family had already paid the $400,000 to her father for his wedding to her," Giovanni explained.

"So in this transaction, he lost $400,000 for Adriana to cheat on him?" she prompted.

"Objection! Leading!" Amando shouted, but Casey replied before the Judge could.

"Withdrawn! Now, Mr. DeLuca, was it true that he paid the sum of $400,000 with the, as you saw it, intention to marry Adriana before he knew (and we confirmed) that she cheated on him?"

"Yes."

"Nothing further," Casey murmured and went back to her seat as Amando came forward for cross examination.

"I'm not going to waste time here. I'll get to the point. Was the $400,000 Antonio Romano's money?"

"No. It was his father's. His father is head of the Romano family," Giovanni replied.

"Did you get the money?" Amando asked in a tone of mere curiosity.

"No. Adriana's father never gave it to me."  
>Damn defense was insinuating that Giovanni had more of a motive than Antonio to kill Adriana.<p>

"The People will now redirect. Mr. DeLuca, did you harbor any ill feeling towards the victim?"

"No. If I had a problem, it'd be with her father, wouldn't it? What would I care if the girl didn't marry the Romano kid so long as the money was passed? Any issue I took was with the father and Lorenzo Russo's alive, ain't he?"

"Nothing further."

_Just to find a way, just to find a way out  
>To find a way, just to find a way out<br>To find a way, just to find a way out for me…_

_11:30 am  
>District Court<br>Cafeteria  
><em> 

"How was it?"Olivia asked and took a swig of her caramel latte. Casey smirked.

"It'll be fine if Passerinni's evidence holds up," she replied briskly.

"Why wouldn't it?" Casey sighed.

"Because Amando's going to do whatever he can to make sure it doesn't," she hissed. Olivia frowned.

"It looks like you're in for a stressful day."

"Hah. Please. Like I'm not ready-you know I've wanted to face Amando Bellini in court since I got my badge. This has been a long time coming," Casey said and got up to get another cup of coffee. She loved her job.

"Lily Passerinni, do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" Lily was dressed in a crisp blue suit and her shoulder length brown hair was straightened, but she was still Lily the peppy lab tech. One could take the girl out of the lab coat, but not the lab coat out of the girl, it seemed.

"Yes," she replied seriously and the judge motioned that she could lower her hand. Casey and Lily got along for the most part, but often butted heads about things. She vowed that if Lily's finding won her this case, she'd never pick a fight with her again.

"Please state your name and occupation for the court."

"My name is Lily Passerinni. I work in forensic crime scene investigation for NYPD," she replied smoothly.

"And what exactly does your job entail?" Casey asked. She wanted to make the decision as painless for the Jury as possible.

"I go out to crime scenes-murders, rapes, assaults, the works and try to gather any kind of evidence I can whether it be blood, prints, hairs, or something else that the police couldn't handle or identify," Lily explained.

"Were you called to a crime scene on March 4th 2023?"

"No, but I was called to one on the morning of March 5th, 2023 the day following the discovery of a homicide," she replied.

"And to where were you called?"

"An apartment in Queens...I don't remember the address," she shrugged and Casey gave a sympathetic nod.

"Because you've worked many more cases since then, we get that...but were you told anything about the crime you were called to?" she asked.

"They said that a woman in her late twenties or early thirties was raped and shot in her apartment and that the body was en route to the morgue, but I needed to check out the scene. I'm never told anything specific," Lily answered and offered a small, half smile.

"Was it Adriana Russo?"

"Yes."

"Did you find anything?"

"Blood belonging to the victim, that was really it. I didn't get anything from the scene-while Antonio's prints were there, as her fiancé, that wouldn't raise any red flags."

"Was that all you found?"

"No. Later, I went to the morgue because the ME said that I should check the victim for prints in case she fought her attacker."

"Did you find any?" Casey asked curiously.

"Yes. Antonio Romano's prints were found on her shoes, as if she tried to kick him off and he swatted her away. He also left prints on her shirt and on the hem of her skirt as if he yanked it up," Lily hissed, glaring over at Antonio to see how he would react.

"So because of the nature of the prints, you'd say with a reasonable degree of scientific certainty that Adriana Russo was assaulted by Antonio Romano shortly premortem?"

"Yes. The fingerprints on her clothes were beneath the blood stains, so he was in contact with her on the day of the murder," Lily replied.

"Nothing further," Casey murmured and walked back to her seat.

_Just to find a way, just to find a way out  
>To find a way, just to find a way out<br>To find a way, just to find a way out for me…  
><em>  
>"Isn't it possible that Antonio Romano handled her clothes at some other time between when she washed them last and when she put them on on the morning of the murder?" Amando proposed and Casey resisted the temptation to groan out loud as he completely dismantled her case, piece by piece. Lily frowned.<p>

"Yes, I suppose that would be possible."

"And isn't it also possible that he took her clothes off of her during consensual sexual intercourse? They were engaged, after all."

"That's also possible." Amando smiled.

"Could you please recount for the court the results of Adriana Russo's rape kit?"

"Positive for fluids. Mostly those of Lanzo Mancini from the day of the murder and trace fluids from Antonio Romano from several days prior to the murder." Casey sighed. She'd keep fighting because she had to, but she couldn't help but wonder if, in her eagerness to close the case, she hadn't put any innocent man in the defendants' chair.

_Round and round and round and round we go  
>(To find a way, just to find a way)<br>Where we're gonna stop nobody knows  
>(To find a way, just to find a way)<br>Something's wrong, I feel it in my soul  
>(To find a way, just to find a way)<br>Round and round and round and round we go_

_1:00 pm  
>District Court<br>Prosecutor's Lobby  
><em> 

"You're calling Pietro after the recess, right? You do know you aren't getting anything out of him..."Fin said hesitantly, but Casey smiled. How he underestimated her.

"Knowledge is power. He'll know I know," she replied. 

"But you don't know," he pointed out and she shook her head.

"I know enough to make him think I know it all." Fin rolled his eyes.

"That kind of strategy might work against a misbehaving teenager or a child who stole from the cookie jar, but it's not going to crack a criminal mastermind." He always thought he knew how to do her job.

"Let me tell you something. I would do anything to get these answers. I'm not giving up," Casey hissed and she curled her long red nails into a fist and made a whip cracking gesture. 

"Okay, Tigress. Just don't lose your job."

_Round and round and round and round we go  
>Where we're gonna stop nobody knows<br>Something's wrong, I feel it in my soul  
>Round and round and round and round we go<em>

"The People call Pietro DeLuca to the witness stand," she said coolly and confidently as the old man took the witness stand. She forced herself to look into the deep black pits of his beetle eyes. He took oath and swore he would tell the truth. In Casey's eyes, sealing his fate and his prison sentence. She rolled her shoulders back and stepped forward, never breaking eye contact with him. "Please state your name and occupation for the court." She tried to keep her tone cool, but all she saw in front of her was a rapist who walked.

"Pietro DeLuca, import/export business. My son who testified earlier works under me," he replied and smiled that same eerie, near toothless wrinkled grin he did when she first questioned him at the precinct.

"Nice big Italian family. I had one of those to some extent," she remarked, knowing exactly what she was doing.

"Italian? A good woman."

"Yes, Mr. DeLuca. My middle name is Sarátríz." Amando groaned from the defense bench.

"Objection! Are you getting to anything?" Judge Perez frowned.

"Sustained. Some time today, Counselor." Casey returned Pietro's smile to see that he now looked slightly unnerved-she'd made her mark.

"Why did Lorenzo Russo owe you money?" she asked and Pietro frowned.

"His family before him scammed my business out of a considerable sum of money."

"How much?"

"$400,000."

"Isn't it true that Lorenzo planned to get the money from selling his daughter Adriana's hand in marriage to Antonio Romano?" Casey asked and Pietro nodded.

"Did Adriana marry Antonio?" He shook his head. 

"Isn't it true that Antonio and Adriana had to break up because she was having an affair with Lanzo Mancini with whom she had a child?"

"Yes," Pietro said and his demonic grin started to creep back, probably because she didn't pursue the Sarátríz line or question him about his "business."

"How did Antonio react at this?"

"He wasn't happy, that's for sure. Came right down and shouted at me-demanded I return him the money that Lorenzo gave me because he was played by "that bitch," Pietro growled.

"And what did you say?"Casey prompted.

"Told him the truth. Lorenzo never gave me the money and he left," Pietro replied simply and shrugged. If she played her cards right, she could use Pietro's testimony to convict Antonio and then convict Pietro. Two birds with one gem-encrusted stone. Casey looked up at Judge Perez.

"Permission to approach the witness?" The judge nodded and Amando didn't object, so she walked right up to Pietro DeLuca, for whom she felt no sympathy, even as old as he was. "Do you recognize this?" Casey asked and held up the cross around her neck, black with a skull in the center, a mafia cross, to show she meant business. His tiny eyes widened in shock.

"Where the hell did you get that?"

"A little birdy gave it to me. I want answers."

"Objection! Relevancy!" Amando shouted and Judge Perez gestured for Casey to come over.

"Approach the bench."

"Withdrawn. I was going to try to make a connection, but I can go about it another way," she said and tucked the cross back under her blouse. Again, her point was already made.

"That you will. Continue," the judge replied sternly.

"Mr. DeLuca, is the name Sarátríz LaSpina familiar to you?" she asked casually. Pietro visibly stiffened.

"Never heard that name. Non so che donna," he snapped.

"Might I remind you that you took an oath. If you're going to lie to me, I'd prefer you go ahead and sign yourself into Rikers and do me the courtesy of saving me the paperwork," she hissed, and Amando was at her in an instant.

"Objection! My opposing counsel is badgering her own witness!"

"Sustained. Rein it in, Novak," Judge Perez demanded, but Casey hardly heard her. She was in her zone.

"Tell me, Mr. DeLuca, did she scream? Sarátríz, did she scream when she was raped?" Casey was trying to keep her voice from rising-he was laughing.

"I think you have me confused with someone else-the man on trial, perhaps?" She was resisting the urge to punch him in his prune face.

"You know exactly what you did, so do I, and now, so will they," she hissed.

"Objection!" Amando shouted.

"Casey Novak! Did you not hear me the first time? Drop this matter or I'll have you in contempt. Do not make me have to tell you again," Judge Perez snapped, looking livid.

"I'd like to call a brief recess, Your Honor," Amando said and she nodded and slammed her gavel on the podium.

"That's a very good idea-you have twenty-five minutes. Court is now in recess!"

_Just to find a way, just to find a way out  
>To find a way, just to find a way out<br>To find a way, just to find a way out for me..._

**A/N: I apologize for the fact that it says this story is set in 2023. The original story I wrote was in that time and I forgot to change it, so just ignore the year and think of everything as happening in March of the present time. Also, I said in the beginning that I took Elliot out of SVU so he could be with Liv? Well, it's not the same without him, so I put him back in. That's why I brought Lake back to partner with him. Leave me a review, please! Thanks ~platarozaluna**


	8. Chapter 8: My Way

**Nocturne Chapter 8: My Way**

**A/N: No reviews on that last =( well, maybe this chapter will have more success =)  
><strong>

**After:  
><strong>  
>Her plane landed in Chicago at just after 9 in the morning and Casey moved in a haze with the rest of the passengers out the tunnel and into the terminal. In Philadelphia, they told her that a woman with dark brown hair and glasses and a tall Caucasian guy with a goatee would meet her when she got off, but she was half tempted to leave them if for nothing more than to see what would happen to her. If they'd follow her. But she didn't. She saw them and approached them. She followed them to gate 14, which was bound for Richmond, Virginia, because staying in Chicago would have been too good to be true. The man introduced himself as Kevin and the woman as Maria before she handed Casey a small yellow ruffled handbag.<p>

"What is this?" she asked hesitantly, but she already knew.

"I'll take any of your old personal information-credit cards, receipts, gift cards, pictures, etcetera, and Kevin will take anything else," Maria explained in a flat, emotionless voice. And so it began. She took Casey's wallet and handed the scarlet bag to Kevin, who wrenched it open and began to throw her things into the trash one at a time. New Versace sunglasses. Her signature Palladio "Rose" lipstick. He pulled out the wrinkled gray t-shirt and a black onyx stone shaped like a heart and made for the trash can.

"No!" she exclaimed, a little louder than she'd intended, but she was desperate. "Please...there's nothing special about them...but please let me keep just those two things. Please," she pleaded quietly and he paused for a moment, but then reluctantly held out the two items Casey would cling to like a lifeline in the coming months. Months that would turn into years. They told her they would take care of everything.

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>It's the same thing<br>It's the same thing every time  
>Your way or nothing<br>It's a shame that  
>It's a shame that all this time<br>Things could have been much better here  
>Maybe something more defined<br>More than what you had in mind  
>More that I could have become<br>_

"What the hell did you do that for, Counselor? I don't know what you're trying to pull, but where was that line of questioning even going? It doesn't matter if De Luca commented a hundred murders, he's not on trial here," Amando growled and she took longer strides to keep up with him as he stormed across the lobby.

"He lied to me under oath!" Casey protested, but Amando held up a hand to silence her. 

"If you don't rein in whatever the hell you're doing, I'll have you in contempt. Other defense attorneys might have let you get away with misconduct in their courtrooms, but I'll not have it in mine. I don't know what in you have with Perez that she didn't have a problem with this and quite frankly, I don't care. If I win this, I want it to be on my own merit. If however, you don't rein in what you're doing, I'll have to report you and you'll probably lose your badge," he explained gravely and Casey took a deep breath before responding. 

"That's all fine and good, but this is -my- courtroom, Bellini. My stomping grounds, my battlefield. You'd do well to remember that," she hissed icily. She didn't mean to sound as biting as she did, especially not with Amando, but she was in the zone and couldn't afford to come out of it until she got her confession.

"Be that as it may, but keep up what you're doing and it won't be for long because you 'll be disbarred. Besides, even if he did confess, the statute of limitations is far from up in a rape case that's over 70 years old." They reached the coffee counter and Amando poured himself a cappuccino with a shot of vanilla. Casey, however, wasn't in the mood for another cup. She leaned against the wall with her arms folded across her chest and kept her glare locked on the defense attorney.

"The statute of limitations has not run out because it was never a case. She never reported it-that's why we need his confession. If he confesses to rape, albeit a 70 year old rape, and is deemed (which he has been) psychologically stable, he can still be charged with it. That's why we need to squeeze for the confession," she countered sharply, but knew that Hell (and not Hell, Norway) would have to freeze over before he helped her with anything in the courtroom. As predicted, he shook his head quickly as though he were offended and turned sharply to face her.

"I refuse to partake in this blatant disregard for the legal system. I never thought you'd be a crooked ADA, but you have too much power and not enough responsibility." Casey rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Uncle Ben but you know as well as I that sometimes we need to take the law into our own hands a little bit."

_I could spend my whole life hanging  
>On your words that leave me here in doubt<br>But I'm so tired of being down and out  
>I'll do this my way now<br>_

"That's not how we do things-we're civilized officers of the court, not bounty hunters. Justice will be done-just in the way that our founding fathers intended it to be," Amando retorted sharply. Some liberal he was. 

"Because justice always gets done when we play by the rules like sissy schoolkids," she hissed, not giving a damn if he judged her. Amando sighed. 

"No matter how noble your intentions, you abused your position. I don't want to see you go down that dark road-you're a good person, Casey." She smirked. How quick Amando was to put people in definite categories of good and evil. But dark and evil were two different things.

"'Good' is arbitrary. I'll go with whatever I think is right, no matter if it's the good side or not. If I did anything else, it'd be politics," she replied coolly and earned a raised eyebrow from Amando.

"I've seen you do questionable things before, but you were way out of line. Casey...I don't know who you are anymore." He took a last swig and pitched the coffee.

"That makes two of us then," she murmured and turned to walk away, but felt his hand on her wrist. She met his eye and saw earnestness there.

"I care about you, Casey. I don't want to see anything happen to you," he said and she returned his sad smile.

"I had a choice to make-my personal life or this job. I dedicated myself to the preservation of justice. It's probably a good thing you started dating Jackie. I would have pushed you until I destroyed you. You're a good person, but I chose not to be. You guys official yet?"

"Yeah," he replied awkwardly and for a few moments, they just looked at each other, but It was high time they got back to court. She was determined to get justice, whether it was 'right' or not. I'm sorry, Amando, she thought. If she wasn't ready to lose her badge to get just retribution for victims, was she in it for the right reasons?

_You know you've been so wrong  
>For way too long<br>And now it shows  
>It shows that all you've ever wanted<br>Was to be the one  
>To put me down for what I've done<br>And no you're not the only one  
>But you will never be like me<br>_

"Of course I'll continue my testimony. I presume the young prosecutor is aware of her place?" Pietro prompted, winding the court around his fingers under that imposing, beady stare. Casey held her shoulders back and walked slowly forward, refusing to let herself be intimidated by a 98 year old dirtbag.

"It's okay. We can talk about something else," she said sweetly and he looked at her with suspicion. "Did Antonio bother you anymore after that day he, as you testified earlier, "stormed into your place of business?" Casey played with the cross necklace, lacing her fingers through the chain. He shifted his gaze to her hand, but her eyes never left his. She knew exactly what she was doing. Pietro, to her surprise, smiled.

"Why, yes. On the day before Adriana was killed, Antonio Romano came into my place of work and bought a .9 mm pistol. You see, my son and I operate a pawn shop. He didn't pawn anything, though. He paid in cash," Pietro explained and Casey was quick to react, though careful to keep her tongue in check.

"Why the he-Why are you only telling the court this information now, Mr. DeLuca?"

"You never asked," he replied simply. It was a .9 mm pistol that killed Adriana Russo.

"Do you have a record of this purchase?" she asked, not knowing quite why she suspected foul play. He smiled again.

"I brought the book with me today-I assumed you'd want it." He rummaged in his jacket pocket.

"No! He's lying!" shouted Antonio and he tried to get up from his seat, but Amando pushed him back down.

"Tell your client to be quiet," barked Judge Perez and she turned her gaze to Pietro, who seemed pleased to command the attention of the entire room. He still hadn't produced anything, yet his smile continued to widen.

"You don't really have anything, do you, Mr. DeLuca?" she asked slowly as realization dawned on her that something wasn't right.

_I could spend my whole life hanging  
>On your words that leave me here in doubt<br>But I'm so tired of being down and out  
>I'll do this my way now<br>I'll do this my way now_

"So many questions, Prosecutor Novak."

"You lied to the court, didn't you? You've never met Antonio Romano before today, have you?" she asked, subconsciously taking a few steps towards the witness stand as she did so, progressively coming to the realization that she was most likely face to face with the true murderer of Adriana Russo and Lanzo Mancini.

"You're just like her, you know-Sáratríz. Always poking around, asking questions...she never knew when to stop, so she needed to be stopped," he rasped. Was it really going to be that easy? Was she really going to get a confession in open court?

"Is that a threat, Mr. DeLuca?" she hissed and then it all happened very fast. She heard it before it hit her-a powerful, explosive "BANG!" and then she felt a sharp pain in her side. People scrambled to their feet, running about. Some screamed. Some chased the gunman out the back door of the courtroom and others rushed to Casey, but she kept her eyes locked on Pietro and was the first to see him run. She always did find value and merit in eye contact. She clasped a hand over her stomach and tore after him, driven by the pure adrenaline she'd always been in access of. No one played Casey Novak for a fool and got away with it. She wrenched open the side door and past the unconscious bailiff. Pietro, it seemed, was quite in shape for his age.

"VILE LYING BASTARD!" she spat into the air. She had almost caught up to him as he pushed open the courthouse door and looked forward to giving him a good left hook to the face and a stiletto heel to the balls. She got him from behind, but he was ready for her. He caught her full on with the finesse of a much younger man and thrust her down the courthouse steps.

"I'm sure there are a number of people up at Attica who'll thank me for that. Goodbye, Casey Novak," he growled and climbed into a waiting car...but she didn't know what make or even color. Her vision was clouded with white spots and the sunlight hurt. Had she hit her head coming down the steps? Of course, she must have...wait...what the fuck happened to her?

_With all that you know, tell me who will you hurt  
>And where will you go, when you get what you deserve<em>

Suddenly, there were people around her and she heard the words "hitman," "escaped witness," and some sirens getting closer. She thought about how her blood was getting stuck in her nails and somehow that seemed incredibly hilarious and she passed out laughing on the courthouse steps. Maybe dying wouldn't be so bad if it'd finally set her free. And bleeding out on the pavement, she wondered briefly if she was really any better than the people she'd prosecuted. Life was just one big fucking irony.

_I could spend my whole life hanging  
>On your words that leave me here in doubt<br>But I'm so tired of being down and out  
>I'll do this my way now<br>I'll do this my way now  
>I'll do this my way now<br>Do this my way now_

**A/N: Casey! Oh noes! Review to find out what happens =)**_  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

**Nocturne Chapter 9: Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

**A/N: Really short chapter, but it didn't really fit as part of another. On another note, YAY A REVIEW! Aka motivation for me to keep going with this. For those against original characters, please give Diego Cavallo a chance. This will probably be the only thing in his point of view and Casey needs a little lovin'—but might there be an SVU detective with a soft spot for her? Hmm…suspense builds! Anyway, methinks Diego is more badass than Nick Amaro =P Read and review, please ~platarozaluna**

**After:**

_I walk a lonely road  
>The only one that I have ever known<br>Don't know where it goes  
>But it's only me, I walk alone<br>_  
>She got off the plane in Richmond and looked around baggage claim for the people Maria and Kevin told her would take her to the next checkpoint-a heavy, sandy-haired white agent named Chester and a shorter woman with long blond hair named Angela. She found herself half-hoping that they wouldn't show and she could bum a ride back to New York, but she wasn't so lucky. They were sitting on a bench behind a large potted fern, both dressed like debutante Richmond socialites. Angela jumped up first.<p>

"Oh Abby! It's been so long!" Casey walked more slowly towards them and said in a low voice

"I don't think they tracked me here. The act probably isn't necessary." Angela's phony smile dropped.

"I'm trying to do my job. Please don't make it more difficult." Casey was quiet after that and followed the agents out of the airport, no longer caring where they took her. It didn't matter anymore, she was already gone. Only it wasn't the Mafia that killed her. Casey looked longingly at the airport Starbucks and was tempted to ask her grim captors if she could have a cup, but didn't see it ending well. Normal people were drinking their lattes, mochas, and cappuccinos, some listening to iPods, some talking on their cell phones, and some reading a copy of the morning news. She smiled sadly, filled with nostalgia for normal things that would never again feel normal.

_I walk this empty street  
>On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams<br>When the city sleeps  
>And I'm the only one and I walk alone<br>_  
>Then, she saw the headline on one of the papers and time stopped. "Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Slain." Angela saw her looking.<p>

"Abigail...we really need to go. Come on," she urged. Casey didn't move.

"Abigail?"

"What did you tell them?" Casey demanded.

"I...I didn't tell anyone anything," she replied.

"Manhattan Special Victims. Diego Cavallo...what did you tell them?"Casey hissed.

"Miss Hawthorne, with all due respect, you're making a scene. Can't this wait?" she put on a phony, laser whitened real estate agent smile, making Casey want to punch her.

"That's what they've all said. I want answers and I want them now. If I don't get them, I'm not coming with you. You can keep me out of my job, out of my home, even take my name, but you can't legally make me go with you. Make your choice. Let me go and lose your job, or keep me in the loop. Your pick, I'm not playing," Casey snapped. Angela bit her lip and sighed.

I walk alone  
><em>I walk alone<br>I walk alone  
>I walk a...<br>_  
>By this time, the heavy agent, Chester, seeing the two women stopped, walked back over to them.<p>

"Your funeral is tomorrow. After the funeral, we'll be able to tell Manhattan Special Victims and Manhattan Homicide so they aren't investigating a false case. We'd tell them now, but we need their grief to be real," the blond replied shortly and somberly. Casey was silent for a moment...she was so overcome with emotion, but she didn't know why-they weren't dead. She was.

"And...Diego?" she asked quietly. Angela shook her head.

"No. Only Manhattan homicide and SVU and the detectives lips are sealed." He'd wanted to walk her home. She'd said no-that she couldn't risk his life, that she'd be fine. And she was, but he didn't know that. He was going to blame himself for a murder that didn't happen. Casey ran a hand frustratedly through her short Abby hair. Angela shrugged.

"Life can be a real bitch." Casey nodded.

"Yeah. I know, trust me."

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
>My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating<br>Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
>'til then I walk alone<em>

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>I'm walking down the line<br>That divides me somewhere in my mind  
>On the border line<br>Of the edge and where I walk alone  
><em>  
>31 year old Diego Cavallo made his way down the steps of the Cook County Courthouse where he'd just won a very important case, thinking about how he was late picking up his two year old son Diego from day care again. It hadn't been his idea to have his son share his name, but his ex-wife Avinashi wouldn't have it any other way. She was out of the picture now and only took Diego during the summers because she wanted him to have stability during the school year when he got older. Older Diego knew she missed him, so he made it a point to send her regular pictures of her son and he showed him pictures of her, so he'd know her as his mother "who loved him very very much." He'd been the one to end it-not her. She was willing to make things work for the sake of her love for him and for their son, but he just couldn't take it anymore. He heard she'd moved to New York and made a name for herself as a successful criminal profiler for NYPD. Working for -her-. Casey Novak-the woman he hated. Fitting, the two women who'd tried to destroy his life working together to destroy someone elses.<p>

_Read between the lines  
>What's fucked up when everything's alright<br>Check my vital signs  
>To know I'm still alive and I walk alone<em>

Diego smiled when he saw his best friend Evelyn Xu waiting for him at the bottom of the steps like she always did. He was a defense attorney in the civil court and she was a precinct psychologist often called to testify in criminal trials and when she did, they'd grab dinner and take the subway together. Today, her long black hair looked red in the setting sunlight and he looked forward to seeing her smile-it'd been a stressful day. As he got closer to her however, he saw that she wasn't smiling. In fact, she looked a little shell-shocked.

"Rough day?" he asked gently and she jumped.

"Oh! Hey Diego, no...I just heard a really disturbing news story," she replied and he raised an eyebrow. For it to have disturbed Evelyn, it must have been something really insane.

"The assistant district attorney in Manhattan was shot today in open court. It's a crazy world when our officers of justice aren't safe anymore," she explained and Diego suddenly had a very bad gut feeling. -She- was an ADA, he knew that. Didn't -she- work in Manhattan?

"What ADA?" he asked hesitantly. It wasn't like he wouldn't find out eventually. He and Evelyn started down the street in the direction of the little Italian place they always went to.

"You know, the young one. She's been controversial because she's a big death penalty supporter, always going for the needle. I'm sure you've heard of her-she was in Time. Really wild looking red hair and tattoos..." It had to be her.

"Evelyn, did you happen to catch this woman's name?"

"Yeah...it was something a little strange...but why can't I remember? Oh yeah...Casey something. It's a really unnerving thing," she replied and Diego nodded.

"She's done a number of questionable things, but she didn't deserve that," he murmured and Evelyn flashed him a questioning look.

"Do you know this woman?" she asked and again, he nodded. He knew her enough to loathe her for making him loathe her. She'd single handedly tried to destroy his life, his world. He'd never wished harm unto her, only said that she needed a taste of the real world, but what happened? She became Assistant District Attorney and achieved her dream practically fresh out of law school.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
>My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating<br>Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
>'til then I walk alone<em> 

"Oh my gosh...you should be there with her."

"When we were kids. I'm sorry about what happened to her, but going to New York tonight really isn't necessary. I haven't talked to Casey in years," he replied shortly and Evelyn frowned. If this were anyone else, he'd have left right away, but he swore he'd never see her again.

"Does she have family?"

"Not really. Not married, either. I would assume someone's taking care of her, though. If not, the hospital will keep her," he said.

"Would -you- want that? No matter what she's done, she's still lying in a hospital going into surgery because someone hired a hitman to shoot her. Psychologically, she'll revert back to a childlike state and will look for anything familiar. She just needs someone to hold her hand and tell her she's going to be okay," Evelyn explained gently and Diego sighed. He started to feel bad, but then remembered how she played him the whole time. She played the part of the victim well, at least, he bought it. But she was hiding more than the Pakistani government after the death of Usama Bin Laden, cleverly tricking him into feeling sorry for her. To be fair, though, it had been a decade. Maybe she was different.

"She -did- always hate hospitals..." he muttered.

_I walk this empty street  
>On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams<br>When the city sleeps  
>And I'm the only one and I walk a...<br>_

"It sounds like you're afraid to go see her," Evelyn pointed out abruptly. Diego rolled his eyes.

"Afraid?"

"Yes. That you'll go all the way there and she won't remember you or worse, will not be receptive to your presence," she explained.

"That's just it. She's fine. She's successful-she doesn't need to see me," Diego replied curtly, but Evelyn smiled.

"It sounds like you two were pretty close once upon a time. If you can still remember her so clearly, then I'm sure she hasn't forgotten you. Go to her. I'll take Diego, you need to make amends with Casey." He sighed and tried to remember what she looked like. Or what she'd last looked like-she was kind of a chameleon that way. He'd blocked her out all these years, but Evelyn was right. Casey shouldn't be alone.

"Alright. I'll go. Thank you," he said. Oh Casey, he thought. What have you done this time?  
><em><br>My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
>My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating<br>Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
>Til' then I walk alone<em>


	10. Chapter 10: Let Me Go

Nocturne Chapter 10: Let Me Go

**A/N: I have a pretty big chapter here, please shoot me a review if you read this-it let's me know how I'm doing and gives me motivation to keep going :)  
><strong>  
>Before:<p>

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
>But one more lie could be the worst<br>And all these thoughts are never resting  
>And you're not something I deserve<br>_  
>She didn't remember passing out, but she supposed it must have happened sometime between being thrown down a flight of stairs post-gunshot and the arrival of EMS personal. When she opened her eyes, she was in a place she recognized as the Mercy Hospital Emergency Room lying on a gurney in a pre-op room.<p>

"Casey?" Her vision was still a bit blurry, but Isabella Russo's face quickly swam into focus, standing next to the bed with raw, red eyes. "Casey? Are you going to die?" she asked in a small, terrified voice. Casey winced and forced herself to sit up. She gently placed one of her hands over the young girl's.

"Listen to me Isabella, I'm fine, see? There was just a little accident, but the nice doctors here are going to get me all fixed up," she said with as much of a bright smile as she could muster.

"Well...that's good. You can't die. You have to be...my mom now," Isabella murmured barely audibly and nervously shielded her face with her wavy brown hair. Casey felt her mind clear immediately. What...had she gotten herself into? Apparently taking the lack of response for agreement, Isabella continued. "Mama and Papa are dead...and Nonni and Nonno don't want me. They said they were going to get...rid of me. That I should have been aborted when I was little, but I don't even know what that means! What's aborting? Can I abort myself now? Will they like me if I do?" It tore at Casey's heartstrings to see her struggling to keep tears inside that desperately wanted to be shed. "Casey! You have to let me live with you...nobody wants me!" she cried out and the first one fell. Then another. Then the dam broke.

"It's okay. When I get out of here, I'm going to look into letting you come live with me. Would you like that?" She couldn't let this girl turn out as bitter as she had.

"Really? You'd do that!" the child exclaimed excitedly and probably would have tried to hug Casey if not for Odafin Tutuola's sudden entrance into the room.

"Okay. You saw her, now she needs to rest so the doctors can make her better. Olivia and Jackie are out in the hall, can you wait with them for a minute-it's my turn to talk to Casey," he said in a voice that, though to the point, was surprisingly tender for Fin. Isabella nodded and skipped out, beaming and waving to Casey over her shoulder before closing the door. The minute she was gone, Casey and Fin's smiles faded.

"What the -hell- were you thinking?" she hissed. Fin looked confused. "Bringing her here. Why?"

"Somehow she found out that you got shot and she started freaking out-saying you were all she had left. She started saying some crazy shit about how you have to be her mom now," he replied with a shrug. Casey forced herself to sit up a little higher, not wanting Fin or anyone else to think her weak. "I'm going to find the bastard that caused this and punch his fucking guys out!" he spat and stomped his foot on the hospital floor as if to prove a point. Casey frowned.

"No you won't, or you'll lose your shield and go to jail," she reminded him, feeling like she were addressing a small child rather than an adult older than she was.

The door clicked open again and in stepped a woman with a white coat and long blond hair. the nametag pinned to her front read "Dr. Murphy." "I'm sorry, but visitors have to leave. Casey is going into surgery," she said and Casey instantly tightened. Surgery had never been something she could handle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
><em>In my head there's only you now<br>This world falls on me  
>In this world there's real and make believe<br>And this seems real to me  
><em>  
>Diego Cavallo didn't expect an issue when he walked into the Mercy Hospital Emergency and approached the main desk. He would just drop in and make sure she was okay and be on the next train back to Chicago. "I'm here to see Casey Novak," he said impatiently and the older woman behind the desk peered at him over her spectacles like an angry hawk.<p>

"Do you have a permit?" she asked pointedly. Permit? To see Casey?

"Look...I'm an old friend of Casey's...I came in from Chicago when I heard," he explained and ran a hand frustratedly through his hair. The woman softened her glare slightly.

"I'm sorry, but the Assistant District Attorney has the highest security in this hospital. I'm really not supposed to tell you anything, but you don't look like you're from the media." Diego was surprised at how angry he was getting-why shouldn't he be allowed to see her?

"Sir, can I help you?" asked a gruff voice behind him and he turned to see a man of about his age with dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and a black leather jacket standing behind him. He must have noticed Diego's confused look, because his next move was to pull a police badge out of his coat pocket.

"DetectiveOdafin Tutuola. Casey is...my best friend," he said simply. Diego didn't know what to say, so he just held out a hand for him to shake and said

"Diego Cavallo. I'm an old friend of Casey's, in a manner of speaking." Now, it appeared to be Detective Tutuola's turn to be confused, as he drew back, eyes widened.

"So...you do exist," he said slowly and Diego nodded, not fully understanding.

"What is this about? Did she mention me?" After all these years.

"Not really...she slept over at my place one night and she said your name in her sleep. Did the same thing when she fell asleep in the precinct cribs one night-asked for you while she was sleeping. Every time I ask her about it, she says she doesn't know a Diego Cavallo. I assumed you were an old imaginary friend."

"I-" Diego started, but Tutuola held up a finger to silence him and turned to the woman behind the desk.

"Let him in," he growled.

-

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
>I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand<br>And you love me but you don't know who I am  
>So let me go<br>Let me go_

Diego paged through an old Time magazine out in the seating area, trying to ignore the knot that was slowly forming in his stomach. Why had he come here? He was jolted out of his thoughts when he felt someone shake his shoulder-it was DetectiveTutuola.

"Casey is awake. You should go see her. That doctor said she's a little loopy from the meds they pumped her with, so cut her a break if she says something a little out of line," he said and Diego nodded, though he knew that Casey didn't need heavy painkillers to say something out of line, she managed just fine on her own.

_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
>And I turn my back on loving you<br>How can this love be a good thing  
>When I know what I'm going through<br>_  
>He opened the door to the room slowly, as though not sure what was waiting for him on the other end. He nearly sighed in relief when all he saw was a woman lying in bed and hooked up to an IV. The eyes he knew to be emerald green were closed and her long red hair was hanging over the side of the bed like a curtain lightly brushing the floor. He approached her slowly and laid a hand gently on her right shoulder, where his eyes landed briefly on a tattoo of a single black wing.<p>

"Casey?" No response, so he tried again a bit louder. "Casey? I'm not staying long, but I was hoping to talk to you before I leave." To his surprise, she, without opening her eyes, raised an arm and swatted him away.

"No! Stop it! I am a good girl!" she slurred angrily and Diego wasn't quite sure how to react, so he did what he did best: reason.

"I never said you weren't a good girl." Casey flipped to her side facing away from him.

"She said I wasn't. She said I was the worst little girl." Diego felt himself subconsciously lay a hand on her shoulder and lightly push her back flat on the bed again.

"Who? The doctor?"

"I can't say or she'll kill me. Please don't let her hurt me!" Casey's eyes were open now and she was looking at Diego with such terror in her face that he was reminded of his son during his first thunderstorm and treated her the same way. He sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed her shoulder tightly, but tenderly.

"Casey. No one is going to kill you and no one is going to hurt you. The doctors gave you some medicine during your surgery and you're hallucinating. It's not really happening," he said slowly and she continued to look at him with wide, confused eyes.

"You're lying. You're friends with them trying to get me to say something bad so they know I talk!" she hissed and pulled out of his grasp.

"Watch your sutures and...you're not making any sense," he said simply and she looked at him again for a moment, but didn't say anything.

_In my head there's only you now  
>This world falls on me<br>In this world there's real and make believe  
>And this seems real to me<br>_  
>"I see you've met our borough's Assistant District Attorney." Diego turned on his heel, surprised to see the short blond woman behind him, having not heard the room door open. She was wearing a long white lab coat and pinned to the front was a small nameplate reading "Dr. Angelina Murphy." He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.<p>

"How is this woman able to function let alone hold that position?" The doctor smiled.

"Casey Novak is very sane. She has a minor allergy to anesthesia, so in order to put her under, we had to give her a strong dose of another drug to counter it. It's known to often have strong hallucinogenic effects until it wears off. The sad thing is that she's probably flashing back to something that happened to her and she was probably abused as a child. I see it all the time, but it's nice to know that Casey got out of it—maybe it's why she prosecutes," Angelina Murphy reasoned with a fond glance at Casey. Diego couldn't help a small smile.

"She's a remarkable woman," he said and ran a hand through Casey's thick hair.

"Okay, well everything looks good, so I'll give the two of you some time," the doctor said and left the room without a backwards glance. Coward. She knew she'd fed him to the wolves. He continued to stroke her hair and watch the sweet smile she wore when she slept, possibly the only innocence he'd ever seen in her.

"Please don't cut my hair," she murmured and he brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Don't worry, I won't." She was quiet and appeared to have fallen back asleep. He noticed another tattoo on her neckline, this one of a red rose.

"I'm sorry," he said, not knowing if she could hear him or not. Apparently not...she didn't say anything. He traced the outline of the wing with his finger.

"S'okay," she mumbled. "Always knew...you'd come back..."she continued with a yawn.

"Why?"

"S...soulmates." Diego couldn't help but smile.

"So you remember me?"

"After all this time, the sound of your voice -still- turns me on. I could never forget you, despite what I thought to be my best effort," she replied and he felt a surge of affection for her-he hadn't stopped caring, either, despite the number of times he told himself he hated her. He still followed her in the news, occasionally looked up the verdicts in her major cases.

"Casey, when I first came in the room, you didn't see me, did you? What did you see?" he asked gently and she frowned.

"I don't remember."

"I think you do-you were afraid someone was going to hurt you and cut off your hair, even kill you. I think maybe you remember something," Diego pressed and he started lightly massaging her shoulder as though the rhythmic motion might trigger something from her fugue.

"They made sure to remind me every day that my birth was the reason any of the bad stuff happened. My fault. I grew up wanting to help people to counteract all the damage I've done. People, hell, sometimes even I think I'm in this because I'm a good person. No, I'm in it for myself just like everybody else," she trailed off quietly and she suddenly seemed so much older and wiser to him, someone who went to hell and came back, jaded, but on the surface, relatively unscathed.

"Casey, why didn't you ever tell anyone?" he asked curiously. He didn't know much of how her childhood had been, but he gathered that it wasn't all that pleasant.

"Really? It wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. You think they would have believed me? Hell, even if they did, she'd kill me. Really kill me," Casey snapped dryly in response. He was about to ask her to elaborate, when the door to the room opened again, this time, though, the intruder was not her doctor. A man with scruffy hair followed by a well dressed young woman with an iPad.

"Casey Novak, do you believe in vigilante justice? Do you believe that Pietro DeLuca hired someone to kill you?" the strange man asked. Reporters. Casey sat up straighter and looked like she was going to answer, but Diego couldn't see this ending well. Although any romantic compassion he may have ever felt for her had long faded away, he didn't want her to say anything that could potentially end her career. Anything she said, these reporters were the type to spin to create a scandal.

"If you don't want the entirety of the DA's office and NYPD banging on your doors, I'd suggest you leave now," he said coolly and the reporters scoffed and stormed out of the room.

"You know, when you rescue a young woman from the dragons, you're a hero. And a very cute one, too...got a name, wonderful?" Diego sighed and looked back down at Casey.

"We were talking no less than five minutes ago," he reminded her exasperatedly.

"Until this medicine wears off, she'll be like a very heavily drunk person. Her mind is foggy, but she'll say anything without filter. Hopefully you're ready for the truth," Dr. Murphy explained as she re-entered the room. If he asked her questions relating to matters she should tell the truth about anyway, he saw no reason for it to be considered taking advantage of her.

"Casey, do you still hurt yourself?" he asked quietly and she shook her head that she didn't.

"No, I stopped that twelve years ago," she chirped brightly.

"Good. Why?"

"Umm...well, because I wanted you to love me, duh! And because I realized it was really stupid." He decided to take a different route.

"When you were shot, were you afraid?" She paused for a moment.

"No. I wasn't afraid because if I died, it would have been in a blaze of glory, doing something noble," Casey said definitively and with conviction.

"Casey, twelve years ago, did you love me?"

"Of course," she replied simply. Which left only one more.

"Do you still?" Casey yawned.

"I'm tired again," she murmured and slowly shut her eyes.

"Wait! Can't you answer one more?" he pressed, but Dr. Murphy's hand on his shoulder grounded him.

"Let her rest. She needs to sleep off the medicine and the anesthesia. Meanwhile, I have a few questions for you," she said and he nodded.

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
>I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand<br>You love me but you don't know who I am  
>So let me go<br>Just Let me go...  
>Let me go<br>_  
>When I was examining Casey, I found some...intriguing things. Old scars on her wrist indicative of long term childhood self harm, for one, and small holes in her stomach that look like little puncture wounds."<p>

"Casey used to hurt herself when she was younger. She had a tough life, and when she couldn't get sympathy from others, she tried to find it within herself," he explained grimly.

"She had a few other scars mostly on her legs, some look professionally stitched, some don't, but that's not my point. Mr. Cavallo...when did Casey have her baby?"

_And you love me but you don't  
>You love me but you don't<br>You love me but you don't know who I am  
>And you love me but you don't<br>And you love me but you don't  
>You love me but you don't know me<br>_  
><strong> AN: eep! Poor Casey =( I figured she needed an emotional back story like the other characters have/a reason why she decided to be a prosecutor. What's going to happen? Does she have a kid? How does Fin really feel about Casey? Review to find out in a timely manner! Interestingly enough, I actually think Elliot/Casey works much more nicely, but not better than Elliot/Olivia and I wouldn't want to have him cheat on Livvie, so Casey gets Fin. **


	11. Chapter 11: All These Lives

**Nocturne Chapter 11: All These Lives**

**A/N: Another short chapter to fill in a bit of information. Thank you for the review, doveinlove. Seriously, those things are like drugs.  
><strong>  
><em>Doesn't come down when she calls,<br>"It's time for breakfast."  
>Momma can't get down those halls<br>Fast enough to see  
>Glass is sprayed across the floor<br>From the broken window.  
>She can't breathe anymore.<br>Can't deny what we know._

**After:**

The house was white with a manicured fenced-in yard and a cobblestone pathway lined with magnolias leading to the front door. Silk white curtains bunched on the ends hung in the windows, wide open during the day to let the sun in. The lattice screen door had a little "Happy Spring" sign hanging on it. 3 bedroom, 2 bath and a number of rooms filled with the same antiquated, country style furniture. The brown and red color scheme of her apartment had been replaced by a light array of sunny pastels. She assumed it would have been too much to ask for a piano. The houses on either side of Abigail Hawthorne's bore a striking resemblance to it and the neighborhood, Meadow Spring, seemed quiet and peaceful. Casey hated it.

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>Monday, March 18th<br>5:30 pm  
>Mercy General Hospital<br>Room 423_

_They're gonna find you, just believe.  
>You're not a person; you're a disease.<br>_  
>"Baby? There must be some mistake...Casey doesn't have any children," Diego said quickly. She didn't...did she?<p>

"It was a scar only a C section birth would leave. Maybe the baby was a stillbirth, or she gave it up," the doctor shrugged, but Diego shook his head.

"No...she's done a number of questionable things, but she would never give up her child. It was stillborn," he said firmly and Dr. Murphy raised an eyebrow.

"You don't seem surprised that she may have been pregnant?"

"Casey, when I knew her, was an impulsive woman who liked sex and alcohol. She doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself. Nothing mattered to her more than her career and a child would have ruined that. So yeah, she probably would have been the abortion type, except she had a personal reason why she wouldn't abort a child or raise one she didn't want. Maybe she did give it up..."he realized slowly and almost incredulously.

"Do not judge her. Every woman deals with guilt, but it takes a lot of courage to make what is ultimately the right choice," Dr. Murphy murmured and Diego couldn't help but feel like any humanitarian goal Casey ever claimed to have had was a lie. The only accurate thing she'd ever said was that she was "in it for herself." The doctor cast one last sad look at Casey's sleeping form before leaving the room. Part of Diego wanted to leave now, get out before he was roped into staying any longer. The other part of him reminded him that he hadn't yet spoken to a reasonably lucid Casey Novak and Evelyn -had- made him pack for a few days, though he had no intention of staying that long. Casey was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<br>You ain't comin' in.  
><em>  
>He waited in the blue plastic chair by her bed and as he watched her chest rise and fall, was overtaken by memories. Her hair had grown, her skin looked a little tanner than he remembered, and she'd gotten a few tattoos, but was she any different? He wondered what had happened to that baby. Was it a boy or a girl? Did it live or die? Why didn't she want it? Had its father broken her heart? Or did she simply have a night she wanted to forget? He again traced the outline of the black wing etched into her right shoulder and noticed that what he previously thought to be feathers were actually strings of small cursive letters forming words. "In darkness there is light, and in light, there is darkness." He wondered when she'd gotten it. She shifted in bed and he smiled.<p>

"Awake?" he asked and her eyes snapped open, but they possessed a certain harshness about them, like she was shooting green daggers into his skull.

"You..."she hissed.

"Do you remember me?" She shoved his hand away and slid as far to the other side of the bed as she could go without pulling out her IV, recoiling like a python ready to strike.

"Get away from me, bastard!" she spat. He sighed.

"I don't understand...a half hour ago, you said you remembered me and that you thought I was always your soulmate, but now-"

"I can assure you I did no such thing. How the -hell- could you -possibly- think it's okay to leave me for -twelve- years-I didn't even know if you were alive-and then come back and have everything just be peachy?" Casey snapped and he was suddenly swept over with frustration and wishing he hadn't bothered to come at all. All he'd done was reopen the wound for both of them.

"You could be a little more polite. I dropped everything to come be here for you," he retorted blandly. She scoffed.

"Oh...poor Diego, had to take a train for a couple of hours. Do you even know how I suffered when you left? It shouldn't have taken me almost dying to bring you back!" she exclaimed. He wanted to tell her he wasn't "back." That he was by no means intending to stay in touch with her, he'd just wanted to make sure she was okay, which she obviously was. But he couldn't because she had a point. He breathed a deep sigh.

"I know. And I'm sorry," he said finally and she looked like she was about to make a smart remark, but closed her mouth. "Yeah. Now I'm going to go get you and I something to eat and then we'll talk this out, alright?" She nodded slowly, almost reluctantly, and he left the room without looking back.

_They're gonna find you, just believe.  
>You're not a person; you're a disease.<br>_  
>In the hospital cafeteria, Diego took a deep breath and faced the vending machine with a few crumpled ones bunched up in his hand. He scanned the selection and realized he had no idea what she wanted. Candy probably wouldn't be a good choice so soon after surgery, and he remembered that she didn't like peanut butter. Or didn't use to. His eyes landed on B6-a pack of Cinnamon Pita Chips. Didn't she like cinnamon? He shrugged and fed the machine his dollar.<p>

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<br>_  
>Casey was sleeping peacefully again by the time he went back up to the room, but her arms were crossed neatly across her chest as though she were still angry. Something seemed a bit off, and as he got closer to her, he realized what. Her mouth had been duct taped shut, and on the tape was written a single word: Silence. He tried to peel it off lightly, but knew it must have stung. "Are you alright? Casey? Casey? CASEY!" he shouted and lightly shook her shoulder. She was unresponsive, so he hit her panic button.<p>

_Doesn't come down when she calls,  
>"It's time for breakfast."<br>The memories begin to fall.  
>She asks, "When will I be free?"<br>_  
>Angelina Murphy came bursting through the door to Casey's room.<p>

"There's...something wrong," he said gravely and let Casey flop back onto the bed like a ragdoll, her body limp and slack. Angelina lifted Casey's wrist and took her pulse.

"It's still there, but what-"she stopped and just stared at the wall in front of her.

"What's wrong?" Diego asked anxiously.

"As I said earlier, Casey Novak is allergic to anesthesia. Her IV contained drugs to alleviate the effects of the allergy, but that was nearly gone. This IV bag is full...someone put something else in here. She's been drugged," the doctor said gravely and detached the IV needle from Casey's arm. "I'm going to get a stabilizer in her and then go test what's in this bag. My best guess is that she knows something and someone wants her quiet. Whoever did this wants this woman dead." Diego rubbed circles in the back of her unconscious hand.

"Casey...what the hell did you find?"

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
>Deep inside, my heart is breaking.<br>Broken homes from separation.  
>Don't you know it's violation?<br>It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
>Never gonna let you take my world from me.<br>The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
>But you ain't comin' in.<em>

**A/N: suspense! This was the last part in Diego's POV, in the next chapter, I'm switching back to Casey's and the rest of the SVU gang will be back. SO, an Elliot/Casey was suggested to me. Would you guys be up for an affair and a broken-hearted Liv? How am I doing with the Diego character? I wanted to bring him in gradually so he wouldn't feel awkwardly placed or like a Mary Sue. I wanted him to blend with the squad for the short time that he'll be in the story. Should Casey forgive him? Or run to Elliot or Fin for comfort? Review your suggestions, please! Thanks, ~platarozaluna**


	12. Chapter 12: Listen to the Rain

**Nocturne Chapter 12: Listen to the Rain  
><strong>  
><strong>AN: In response to the suggestion, methinks I'll have her forgive Diego until WPP takes her and then have her run to someone else for comfort when she comes back...but who? Hmm... Btdubs, PLATAROZALUNA HAS BEEN ACCEPTED TO HER SECOND CHOICE COLLEGE. That is all. =)  
><strong>

_Listen listen  
>Listen listen<br>Listen listen  
>Listen (listen) listen (listen)<br>Listen (listen) listen (listen)  
>Listen (listen) listen (listen)<br>Listen listen_

**After:**

She was carrying the last box up to her new prison when she heard someone call out to her. She dropped the box in the foyer and looked over her shoulder to see a man waving to her from the opposite driveway.

"Welcome to the neighborhood!" he called and Casey went back out to meet him, figuring maybe she'd be less lonely if she made friends. Abby couldn't be by herself all the time, or Casey would go insane. He didn't -look- like a serial killer. He was wearing khakis and a green polo shirt, thankfully not golf sneakers, his fawn-colored hair was spiked in the front, and his face was dotted with what she called "30's stubble." He held out a hand for her. "Jason Olvera. Pleasure to meet you," he said with a friendly smile that Casey tried to return.

"Hi. I'm Abby Hawthorne, I just moved here," she said cautiously, for even thinking about it, Casey Novak' had almost slipped out.

"I can see that. Where from?"

"LA," she replied coolly and she could see he looked impressed. The facade wasn't really all that bad...it was easy and actually kind of fun to be someone completely different and have the opportunity to fabricate much of her life, but she knew it would only be to a point. She knew she'd want her life back very soon, and would have to force herself to come to terms with the fact that she never would. A part of her was afraid that eventually, she'd truly forget herself and all of Casey's memories. The thought horrified her.

_Listen to each drop of rain (listen listen)  
>Aaah<br>Whispering secrets in vain (listen listen)  
>Aaah<br>Frantically searching for someone to hear  
>Their story before they hit ground<br>Please don't let go  
>Can't we stay for a while?<br>It's just too hard to say goodbye  
>Listen to the rain<br>_

**Before:**

When Casey opened her eyes, she didn't know where she was. She could feel cool grass beneath her body, wet with the dew of early morning or late night. She blinked and thousands of stars came into focus, both above and all around her. She saw all the constellations, with no regard to season or side of the world. She sat up straighter and her hair fell to her waist, cloaking her in the strawberry blonde curls of her earliest youth. She was wearing a knee-length, silk aqua dress, cinched in at the waist and with diamond crystals decorating the chest. She recognized it as her homecoming dress from her sophomore year of high school. But why was she wearing it? Where was she and why was she here? A coyote howled in the distance and she drank in her surroundings-the grass, the tall looming trees, the distant field, a clear spring running over smooth, flat rocks, and the blanket of stars. It looked like Cades Cove in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, but why would she be there? She assumed she was alone, but she followed the glow of the moonlight to a young couple lying on a striped Mexican blanket, wrapped in each other's arms. The light moved then to a stone bench by the spring, with two stone angels perched on either side of it, as if guarding the woman sitting alone atop it in a black dress. She followed the moonlight to the two men walking up from the field. One was taller and wearing a red flannel shirt, the other shorter and with a green baseball cap on his head. Casey smiled. As she watched them, she didn't notice the spring water start to take the form of a woman until she stood before her. Her long black hair hung in two silk braids and she was wearing a dark brown dress, that, coupled with her tan skin, made her look like she was born from the earth itself.

"The Medicine Woman..." Casey whispered. She nodded and twirled one more time to complete her transformation into the woman who appeared to be composed of smoke and steam. "I've seen you before. In my dreams," Casey continued excitedly.

"Do you know my name?" the Medicine Woman asked and Casey shook her head, suddenly feeling guilty that she'd never asked. "I'm time, you will learn." Casey frowned.

"Am I dead?" she asked. Was she in...heaven?

"Are you?" the Medicine Woman replied with her own question, much to Casey's frustration.

"Why am I in this place?" she asked again and the older Iroquois woman smiled.

"There are many who wish to speak to you," she explained as if she were making complete sense. Casey found herself walking toward the young couple on the blanket, but she was not in control of her feet and the direction in which she walked. The woman lying on the blanket sat up to face Casey, sending a mass of strawberry blond curls cascading down her back. Her eyes were a vivid green and her clothes looked dated-1930's or so.

"Louise..."Casey realized. She nodded and Casey looked curiously at the man beside her with the long braid. "and Earl Sekatou. You found him," she said. Louise smiled and her eyes seemed to sparkle.

"I did. Because I never gave up. Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Forgive Diego Cavallo."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Casey snapped, but instantly felt bad for yelling at her great grandmother.

"Fate obviously crossed your paths again for a reason," Louise pointed out and Casey frowned.

"But...he has no idea the pain I felt because of him!" she hissed.

"Really? Because I see before me a strong, independent woman who worked hard to achieve her goals, graduated from college, and is working her dream job surrounded by close friends. You'd be hard pressed to make a case that the pain Diego caused you affected the rest of your life, "Louise pointed out.

"He didn't know then that it wouldn't," Casey fired back, but she knew she was fighting a battle she wasn't going to win.

"But even you agree that, ultimately, he made the right choice." Casey sighed and slowly nodded. "So what is there not to forgive? He came back, didn't he? Life is short, Casey. I know that better than anyone." Louise's smile conveyed years of pain and regret and Earl laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"Lou...none of what happened was your fault. You got sick. I never blamed you and neither did the kids," he assured her tenderly and Louise wrenched herself out of his embrace.

"My son resented me," she said somberly.

"That's not true!" Casey objected, but the older woman seemed to look right through her.

"A mother should never leave her child," she murmured and Casey felt a guilty knot begin to twist in her stomach. Did her son resent her? Would he when he was old enough to understand?

_Listen listen listen listen listen listen to the rain  
>Weeping<br>Listen (listen) listen (listen)  
>Listen (listen) listen<em>

The next thing she knew, she was shrouded in a smokescreen of mist and could no longer see Louise, Earl, or the Medicine Woman. As the smoke thinned, she faced the other young woman-the one wearing the long black dress seated on the stone bench. She lifted her head and looked at Casey, who found her enchantingly beautiful. Her hair was long and dark brown, almost black, and looked to have the consistency of the softest silk. Her dark chocolate eyes seemed to define her deep olive skin. Casey knew exactly who she had to be. Though she looked years younger, there was no mistaking the bitterness.

"Sáratríz...I'm sorry. I'll try harder to get justice for you, I swear!" she found herself promising earnestly, for she felt guilty that this woman never got justice for how much she'd suffered for so long.

"I brought it on myself," she growled and cast her hair in her face. "Karma's a bitch," she continued and Casey felt like she'd been doused in ice water, a sharp contrast from Louise's motherly compassion and warmth.

"What do you mean?"

"But you already know. It's kind of hard to be a Catholic Strega. I'm surprised I even made it up here. I was selfish. I meant only to curse that man, but in doing so cursed every new generation of my family. I could have had any of half the men in Sicily, but I was bored of their constant affections. Tomás wasn't one of them, so naturally, I fell in love with him. I didn't realize I was hurting him when I started manipulating him. Making him love me. I meant to tell him the truth...but before I could...they rendered it impossible," she hissed in a voice full of malice and vengeance.

"They killed him," Casey finished gravely and Sáratríz nodded. There was silence momentarily. "Did Pietro DeLuca rape you?" Casey saw a flash of some other emotion across her bitter, hardened visage...pain?

"Yes. Yes he did." The smoke swirled in again, seemingly up from the base of the mountain, and formed a barrier between the two women. Alive and Dead. One with another chance, and one who'd never gotten one.

"Are you ready?" She heard the voice of the Medicine Woman, but did not see her.

"For what?" Casey called into the fog.

"To go back," the ominous voice whispered. Somehow, Casey felt like even if she objected, she wouldn't have a choice.

_I stand alone in the storm (listen listen)  
>Suddenly sweet words take hold<br>(Listen listen)  
>Hurry they say for you haven't much time<br>Open your eyes to the love around you  
>You may feel you're alone<br>But I'm here still with you  
>You can do what you dream<br>Just remember to listen to the rain  
><em>  
>When Casey Novak woke up, she instinctively reached up to the base of her neck...but the black cross was gone.<p>

_ oo...ooh oh oh oh oh  
>ooh ooh oh oh oooh<br>Listen_

**A/N: I apologize for how incredibly random that was…I've often heard that when people have near death experiences they often have glimpses of the other side, which is kind of where I got the idea. I wanted a connection to some kind of family background for Casey, but I was feeling incredibly uncreative and they never mention her family in the show, except to say that they were poor, so I used my own grandparents names haha and I actually am related to an Iroquois Medicine Woman, so that's where I got the idea for that bit. It will be normal again in the next chapter, I promise. As always, I ask that you kindly send me a review if you read the story. It takes only a few seconds and I really do take people's suggestions into consideration. I'm going to try to get 13 and 14 up tomorrow since I have a long weekend, so keep checking back =) **


	13. Chapter 13: See Who I Am

**Nocturne Chapter 13: See Who I Am**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! My goal is to reach ten with this chapter and then to get five per chapter, though that might be somewhat unrealistic. I know more people read this story than review it, but I hope that changes as the plot continues to thicken =) Anyway, thanks again to those who have. ~platarozaluna**

_Is it true what they say?  
>Are we too blind to find a way?<br>Fear of the unknown  
>Clouds our hearts today.<br>_  
><strong>After:<br>**  
><em>~September ~<br>_

"Alright, class. I'm Ms. Hawthorne and I'm going to be your English teacher for the duration of the school year." She hadn't wanted to do this, but she was lucky they found her a job at all. Actually, it was more lucky that Casey's undergraduate degree was in English. She surveyed her class and could easily pick out the suck ups and kids that cared (front row, closest to her desk), the pretend suck ups and smart kids (second row), the jocks and bitches (third row), the schleps and delinquents (fourth row), and the kids that just didn't give a shit (back row). Not much had changed since she was in high school. One of the jocks-appropriately pegged and donning a blue polo shirt and a New York Yankees hat, shouted the question probably on everyone's minds.

"How much homework will we get?" Casey rolled her eyes. The stupid little shit.

"Whatever I decide to assign-and you -will- do it, or I will write you up faster than you can say "but I had practice last night," Casey snapped and the kid looked at his friends.

"Do you give extra credit for independent research?" asked the girl in the front closest to Casey's desk. She had a single long brunette braid and was wearing a dressy pink blouse and slacks as if she'd get extra credit for that, too. Casey raised an eyebrow and looked curiously at the girl.

"I don't know, should I give extra credit for having my time wasted?" It was going to be one hell of a long year.

_Come into my world,  
>See through my eyes.<br>Try to understand,  
>Don't want to lose what we have.<em>

**Before:  
><strong>  
>She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the fluorescent white lights beaming down on her.<p>

"What...what the hell..."she heard herself mutter.

"You're awake.." she heard a voice she recognized as belonging to the Captain of Manhattan SVU,Don Cragen.

"Hey, Captain," she said and her voice sounded scratchy like it hadn't been used in awhile. She was finally able to open her eyes all the way and saw the Captain standing by the bed looking down on her. A flurry of memories came back to her-the shooting at the trial, Pietro pushing her down the stairs, going into surgery, and...waking up to see Diego Cavallo at her bedside. It seemed, though, that she'd chased him off. The Captain seemed to guess her thoughts.

"We've all been taking turns sitting with you."

"All?"

"Fin, Elliot, Jackie, Olivia, myself, and that other friend of yours, Diego," he replied smoothly, but continued before she could say anything. "You're really very lucky...The Doctor got to you just in time-someone tried to poison you through your IV," he explained.

"Pietro's people," Casey muttered.

"Well, unfortunately we can't prove that. That said, my detectives are working tirelessly to-"

"I had something to say to that effect, actually," Casey broke in. He looked expectantly at her and she took a deep breath before continuing. "I want Detective Tutuola off my case."

"You have no jurisdiction to do that. You're the victim," Cragen retorted shortly.

"That may be, but I'm also Assistant District Attorney and he's too invested," she said sharply and Cragen nodded in understanding.

"You're very important to him."

"Exactly."

_We've been dreaming  
>But who can deny?<br>It's the best way of living  
>Between the truth and the lies.<br>_  
>After the Captain left, Olivia came into the room.<p>

"Hey," Casey said and her friend sat down in the blue plastic chair the Captain had vacated.

"You look in pain," Olivia commented and indicated to Casey's heavily bandaged midsection.

"Nah. It's not that bad." Casey shrugged and then grew more serious. "What was really in that IV that bastard drugged me with? You can tell me. I'm not going to stand for this entire force keeping secrets from me, "she said firmly and Olivia nodded.

"Trust me, I know you won't. Elliot doesn't agree with me, but I think you've a right to know things as we come upon them. Interestingly enough, it wasn't a drug they put in the IV-that would have been too easy to trace. They wanted to kill you quickly with something virtually untraceable. They filled your IV bag with distilled water," Olivia explained gravely.

"To burst my cells. We're dealing with an educated hitman," Casey realized and Olivia nodded.

"Well, someone with a basic knowledge of biochemistry. We're going to pull the security tape for this hallway, but whoever it was was probably disguised." In a sense, it was almost satisfying for Casey to have someone put such effort into trying to kill her-and it made her all the more determined to get justice for Sáratríz and show these Mafia lords that they couldn't just get away with hurting women as they pleased.

"Well, you sound busy enough. I won't take any more of your time. Remember what I said, though. I want you to keep me updated," Casey reminded her and Olivia got up from her seat.

"Of course. Just please don't tell anyone, least of all, Elliot, who by the way, I'm going to send in if you don't have any objections."

_See who I am,  
>Break through the surface.<br>Reach for my hand,  
>Let's show them that we can<br>Free our minds and find a way.  
>The world is in our hands,<br>This is not the end.  
><em> 

"Casey, I have a few questions for you regarding your attacks." Business as usual for Detective Elliot Stabler-she was just another victim. Casey couldn't help but smirk.

"What? No "how are you feeling, Counselor?" Incidentally, she wasn't completely joking. He didn't say anything for a minute, and then just looked annoyed.

"I'm glad you're able to turn this into a laughing matter, but I'm investigating a crime here. I need to know everything you know about this Sáratríz business and how it's connected to Pietro DeLuca," he said firmly and Casey recoiled angrily. Who the hell did he think he was speaking to the Assistant District Attorney like that?

"No. It's my case-paws off," she hissed. His expression soured instantly.

"Casey...think about what you're doing-I could charge you with obstruction and you know it," he growled.

"Yes and that would take me all of about three seconds to make go away. Rethink how you speak to me. You and I both know I don't have to tell you a damn thing," she reminded him coldly and he, in silent defeat and true Elliot-angst, sighed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.

_Fear is withering the soul  
>At the point of no return.<br>We must be the change we wish to see.  
><em>  
>"Casey...I am so sorry." Never a good sign when she had no idea what someone was apologizing for. She shot him a quizzical look and he inched the rest of the way into the room and shut the door behind him. She could tell the anger was boiling with him, too.<p>

"Cragen took me off your case. Gave me some load of bull about how I care too much," Fin growled as he paced back and forth.

"Did he?" she asked curiously, knowing he had more to get off his chest.

"Yeah. Now even if I find anything, I'm not allowed to follow-up, but mark my words, if I see that bastard...I'm going to make good on my promise. What does he expect me to tell you? Sorry, but I'm off a case even though I didn't do a damn thing. Guilty by association, apparently according to this bullshit paper," he spat and Casey sighed and smiled sadly.

"I already knew."

"How?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I took you off. Read the signature on the bottom. It should be my name."

"No...you wouldn't. You're kidding. I know you are," he said in disbelief, but unfolded the paper anyway and his eyes widened as he read what was presumably her signature signing off on his removal from the case.

"You bitch. I can't believe you would do this!" he exclaimed and Casey leaned back in bed and took a deep breath, wishing hospital pillows were more comfortable. It wasn't like she didn't predict his reaction. "I can't even look at you," he hissed and left the room in an angry fury. Casey assumed this meant he was no longer taking her home when the hospital released her.

_I'll come into your world,  
>See through your eyes.<br>I'll try to understand,  
>Before we lose what we have.<br>_  
>Casey was beginning to feel like a zoo attraction as people came in to goggle at her, none staying for more than five or ten minutes. After each person left, her stomach would tighten as she wondered if the next visitor to pass through the door might be Diego...or had he left? She jolted upright when she heard the familiar swish of the room door, but it was only Melinda.<p>

"Jackie wanted to come see you, but she and Liv just got a call about a possible sighting of Pietro and they had to go look into it," the dark-haired Medical Examiner explained and Casey nodded in understanding. If that bastard hurt her friends in any way, he'd be answering to her .38.

"The most we can do is hold him in contempt of court until we can prove anything, unfortunately," Casey said dryly and Melinda shrugged.

"If that's all you can do, it's all you can do. My question though, was who is the very attractive man in the waiting room. He's apparently here to see you. I've never seen him before."

"That...is Diego Cavallo," Casey replied, not seeing who else it could be.

"-That's-Diego Cavallo? Get it, girl. I'm impressed," Melinda said with a smile and Casey rolled her eyes.

"It's not like that...he...we haven't seen each other in years."

"So you're saying he's up for grabs?" Melinda asked mischievously. Though she knew she was joking, Casey felt her throat tighten all the same.

"Did I say that?" She hadn't meant to sound so snappy.

"Oohhh rawr! It looks like someone hasn't quite let go, despite all these apparent 'years'." Casey was glad Melinda's comment hadn't been a question, as she wouldn't have known how to answer. Technically, she'd never really forgotten him nor he her.

_We just can't stop believing  
>Because we have to try.<br>We can rise above their truth and their lies.  
><em>  
>Casey placed her hand gently over the back of his hand and looked him directly in the eye.<p>

"I'm sorry," she whispered and he squeezed her hand.

"It's okay. You had every right to be upset with me," Diego murmured in reply and Casey couldn't help her small smile, that, she was sure, extended to her eyes.

"You didn't deserve all the blame I put on you. My life has been just fine, if not excellent, so far. I haven't suffered," she explained softly.

"It was arrogant of me to presume that you would accept me back with open arms. In all honesty, I wasn't quite sure how seeing you would be for me, either." An uncomfortable silence hung in the air until Diego changed the subject.

"So, are you going to tell me what exactly you were investigating that got you into this predicament?" he asked casually. Casey took a deep breath, but brightened. Finally, something she could easily answer.

"Well...it all started when I was called to prosecute the rape/homicide of a young Italian woman named Adriana, incidentally the daughter of a Mafia boss. We came to find, however, that the accused, Lanzo, was the victim's lover and father of her illegitimate child and after much investigation, he was cleared and our primary suspect became the victim's fiancé, Antonio and we found that her death was related to the crimes of her father and grandfather against another Mafia family. Pietro DeLuca was testifying in my trial, but I have information pertaining to a past crime of his, so I needed to be silenced," she explained and Diego's eyes widened.

"How much do you remember about the attack?" She rolled her eyes-she'd been shot, not diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

"I was questioning Pietro when the gun went off. The bullet entered through my right side, but I didn't feel it right away. I chased Pietro out of the courthouse, but he pushed me down the front steps and got into a waiting car. When I woke up, I started yelling at you," she replied blandly. Casey neither regretted nor rejoiced in her treatment of the man she'd once loved.

"Do you remember the first time you woke up?" What?

"Didn't you hear me right, I only woke up once before now," she snapped impatiently and Diego sighed.

"Never mind." Wait...had she woken up another time? Casey instantly wondered what he was thinking of. What had she said or done that was making him act so strangely?

"What did I say?" she demanded, but he shrugged.

"I said never mind."

_I hear their silence  
>Preaching my blame.<br>Will our strength remain  
>If their power reigns?<br>_  
>"The doctor also said you could go home if you're feeling up to it. Your stitches will dissolve on their own in about two weeks," Diego explained. Of course she wanted to go home-the hospital was terrifying.<p>

"Hand me my cellphone, I'll call a taxi," she said, indicating to her iPhone resting on the table on the other side of the room. He didn't get up.

"Now, why would you do that?" Casey rolled her eyes-he could be so incredibly thick sometimes.

"Well, because I can't exactly take a subway like this now, can I?" she replied churlishly and Diego smiled and laid a gentle hand on her wrist, sending an electric current rushing through her.

"You don't need to call anyone because I'm going to take you home. You need to be taken care of."

_See who I am,  
>Break through the surface.<br>Reach for my hand,  
>And show them that we can<br>Free our minds and find a way.  
>The world is in our hands.<em>

_This is not the end._

**A/N: Review, please? *is hopeful* Yeah…this chapter took some time. This chapter served another purpose beyond plot enhancement. I was able to have most of the characters in it—yay! Hmm…Casey and Diego are friendly again, sort of. I'm not sure how muh further they're going to go and how much time I'm going to have pass before the "before" catch up with the "afters."**_  
><em> 


	14. Chapter 14: Rest

**Nocturne Chapter 14: Rest**

**WARNING: This chapter contains fluffiness. One of very very few that will, so if bunnies, kittens, and the like make you want to puke, this chapter may not be for you.  
><strong>  
><strong>After:<br>**  
><em>Hey where have you been?<br>Where did you go? Looking for innocence?  
>Shame is holding you down, selling you out, won't you come back again?<br>_

_~1 week later~_**  
><strong>  
>She'd been at this teaching job a week and already wondered how in the world she was possibly going to make it through the rest of the year. Most of the kids either didn't care or were still testing to see if she played favorites, but Casey didn't discriminate-she hated all of her students equally.<p>

She rounded the corner of her street again and once again looked over her shoulder. Running in suburbia was nothing like running in the city. Here, people noticed her. They looked at her, watched her run, and judged her for choosing to run barefoot. She didn't notice Jason Olvera getting his mail until she practically ran over him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really do need to start paying attention," she said and he waved his hand in an indifferent gesture.

"Paying attention can be overrated. It's nice when you can run to lose yourself, but easy to get caught up in life," he replied and Casey nodded in silent agreement.

"How far have you gone today?"

"Hmm...around the neighborhood three times?" she guessed.

"That's about 2 miles I guess, give or take. Doing anything later?" Casey shrugged.

"Well, a shower is certainly in order since Virginia apparently thinks it's funny to still be 85 degrees in September. Then, I don't know. Watching TV, maybe grocery shopping."

"Want to grab coffee?" Casey didn't quite know how to respond-was he asking her out? She didn't know, but did it matter? She was lonely and missed her more social coffee runs from back in the city with her coworkers.

"Sure, want to meet around five?" she offered and he nodded and pulled out a sleek blackberry storm.

"Sounds fine, you have a phone number or Facebook or anything?" They exchanged numbers, Casey glad at least that WPP had permitted her to have an iPhone nearly identical to her last one, only sporting a pink case and a different phone number. She informed him that, regrettably, she was one of the few holdouts from social networking. At least, Abby was. Casey hadn't been.

"You're not one of those social types, eh? That's fine, but it really makes for an easy and convenient way to connect people," Jason replied. Casey frowned and fought the urge to loudly object. Of course I'm social, I'm Casey Novak, what do you think? she wanted to say, but she couldn't. And it bothered her immensely.

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>'Cause you've found a way to go on for days, pretending to live<br>But you are not ok, with all of that weight, you need to give up  
><em>  
><em>Monday, March 18th<br>8:00 pm  
>Casey Novak's Apartment<br>Manhattan, New York  
><em> 

"Welcome to Casa de Casey," she muttered and dropped the keys on the coffee table with a clatter. He looked around her apartment and raised an eyebrow.

"It's immaculate." She shrugged.

"I'm never home. I don't have time to get disorganized, "Casey offered and Diego led her over to the couch. An act to which she furiously objected. "I can walk, stop," she growled much to Diego's apparent amusement.

"Yes, but you shouldn't be," he replied and without further adieu, scooped her up and laid her down on the couch.

"Hey!" Casey exclaimed, but Diego, to her annoyance, continued to smile down on her. He picked up the red afghan off the top of the couch and tossed it over her before retreating in the direction of her kitchen, leaving with Casey with a raft of conflicted thoughts. She wanted him there, she knew that, but was it wrong to forgive him so easily? Of course not...he hadn't really done anything terribly wrong. She was still trying to figure out how exactly she felt about him anymore. Was she happy to have him or just happy to have company? No, it was him, she decided. But how much did she want? She tried to tell herself that she wanted nothing more than to mend an old friendship. 

Meanwhile, Diego was trying to sort out his own thoughts about her. She frustrated him immensely sometimes, that much hadn't changed, but there was something about her that was...charming? No, wrong word. Captivating? Maybe. More like a combination of humorous and intriguing at the same time. He walked under the archway that led into her kitchen-the same deep brown, rich red, and warm gold color scheme as the rest of her apartment. He figured he should find her something to eat for dinner since she probably hadn't eaten since before the trial, if that, and he wondered briefly if she still ever struggled with her childhood eating disorder. He smiled, though, when he saw her refrigerator door-an NYU magnet and an American Bar Association magnet were holding up an email for an important looking legal meeting and a business card for a store called "Little Buddha's Zen Den." A circular magnet reading "You have the right to remain silent-please use it" pinned up a picture of Casey and Detective Tutuola from earlier-both very well dressed and making faces in front of the Times Square Christmas tree. A to-do list on a piece of panda stationary said that Casey apparently needed to go to the grocery store to buy rice, chicken, wine, and ramen noodles. She was definitely winning a sustenance award, but he would have expected nothing else from his ethnically confused Casey-no. She wasn't "his"Casey. He didn't want her. She was a lazy sleaze of an attorney, but still he couldn't help but laugh when he opened the fridge and was confronted with nothing but a half gallon of A&W root beer and half empty Chinese takeout boxes. There was still a part of him, no matter how he tried to repress it, that had an affectionate spot for Casey Novak.

_Come now just let it go, let it fall down, let it all flow like  
>The water that's rushing in over your soul 'til there's nothing left<br>Won't you come to me and rest?  
><em>  
>Casey was lying back on the couch channel surfing when Diego called back from the kitchen.<p>

"You don't have any food!"

"Order takeout!" she shouted back and hit the "TV Guide" button to see if there was anything decent on.

"What kind of takeout?" Casey smiled. Her cell phone speed dial was nothing but cops and foreign restaurants.

"Let's get Chinese! I want Lo Mien noodles and Mandarin chicken. I should have the menu for the corner China Garden sitting on the kitchen table," she replied and instantly got a craving for her favorite dish. 

Diego sat in the armchair while she ate her dinner on the couch-careful not to lessen the distance between them to less than it needed to be, especially since they hadn't really "talked" yet. Although, he realized he wouldn't have wanted to talk now even if she wanted to. In fact, the silence seemed to only be getting denser.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked casually and he picked up the remote off the coffee table to buy something OnDemand. She nodded and he thought while he scrolled about which movie would be best. Not a romance. That wouldn't bode well for either of them. She hated sci-fi and he hated crime drama. She thought horror movies were ridiculous and stupid, he remembered. He didn't believe in the occult, so that was out.

"Wolverine?" he asked. He remembered she had an opinion on it, but didn't know if she felt positively or negatively. He hoped for the former. She looked at him seemingly happily enough.

"Are you drinking to forget?" she asked playfully.

"No, I'm drinking to remember," he replied and hit play.

_Hey I know that you're scared to look in my eyes,  
>When you know that something's wrong<br>I'll wait as long as it takes, for you to find grace, it's been here all along  
><em> 

It was easy for Casey to get distracted when the movie started, as it was one of her favorites. Diablo crept into the room (he'd apparently been asleep in her bedroom) and settled obediently next to the couch knowing he wasn't allowed on the furniture. Casey reached her arm down to scratch behind his ears and in doing so, looked at Diego's profile. Beautiful. No...she couldn't think that. It was dangerous to think that. 

"Do you know why the moon is so lonely?" Kayla Silverfox asked and Logan looked questioningly at her.

"Why?" he asked and she continued to stare out the window, bathed in the moonlight.

"Because she used to have a lover," she replied simply, almost bitterly. "His name was Kuekuatsu and they lived in the spirit world together," Kayla began and looked over her shoulder to where Logan was lying on the couch, as if to see if he was listening to her.

"Oh, this is a true story," he muttered sarcastically. 

"Mm-hm. And every night, they would wander the skies together. But, one of the other spirits was jealous. Trickster wanted the Moon for himself. So he told Kuekuatsu that the Moon had asked for flowers; he told him to come to our world and pick her some wild roses. But Kuekuatsu didn't know that once you leave the spirit world, you can never go back. And every night, he looks up in the sky and sees the Moon and howls her name. But... he can never touch her again." 

Diego cast a glance over at Casey who was fully absorbed in the movie, and he could see why she liked it. She probably identified with both of the principle characters-Kayla, on an obvious level, the connection to the moon and a belief that her actions were helping others, even if they acted in her favor; Wolverine on a deeper level. The belief that she was a monster, naturally pre- disposed to be a bad person because of her genetics. The idea, which he assumed could have only increased since she started prosecuting, that even if she did the "right" thing, it was wrong. This bitter notion that the world was made up of beauties and beasts and she fell into the latter group.

_'Cause you've found a way to go on for days, pretending to live  
>But you are not ok, with all of that weight, you need to give up<br>_

"I'm the best at what I do and what I do best isn't very nice. I'm the Wolverine," Logan said with a grimace.

Casey pulled the afghan more tightly around her and tried not to think about 12 years ago. She thought she'd long blocked away those memories. She focused her attention back on the TV, where Wolverine had just found out Kayla was still alive.

"I thought you were the Moon and I was the Wolverine, but you were the Trickster and I was the fool who got played," he said darkly in a voice rich with pent up bitterness and pain. He ran a hand through his spiky dark hair with his sleek claws just as Casey was doing with her long nails and her own deep red hair. She let her fingers work through a knot as she tried not to think about the fact that the movie was almost over. She hoped he wouldn't want to talk and almost if not completely, would rather they never spoke of 12 years ago again. If everything was okay now, why recall old wounds? 

After the movie ended, Diego knelt down by the side of the couch and gently placed his right hand on her wrist left exposed by the afghan.

"Ready for bed?" he asked softly and she nodded, yawning as she did so.

"If you want, you can have the bed and I'll stay on the couch," she offered and Diego sighed.

"No, that's ridiculous. I'll be fine. You take your bed." He knew she probably didn't need it, but he helped her to her feet anyway and somehow, his arm ended up encircling her waist and pulling her close to him. Casey fell into the embrace as if she welcomed it, which, she did. Though he would never admit it, a part of Diego did, too. He squeezed her left side tenderly, careful of the stitches on her right side. "I'll be right here. Call me if you need anything, alright?" She nodded and they released each other slowly as if pulled back by invisible restraints.

_Come now just let it go, let it fall down, let it all flow like  
>The water that's rushing in over your soul 'til there's nothing left<br>Won't you come to me as you are  
><em> 

"Good night, Diego, and...thank you," she whispered and she flashed that light, barely there, but innocent and genuine smile that he realized he'd missed.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm glad to be here."

"Really?"

"Yes. And I mean that. Good night, Casey."

_Dirty and broken with all of the scars, from all the unspoken  
>With all the words that you wanted to say but you locked them away inside<br>_

She pulled back the fleece blanket and the quilt together and clasped a hand over her wound as she slowly pulled herself up on the bed. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, whether because of the lingering anesthesia or the peace of mind Diego brought her, she didn't know. What she did know, though, was that she couldn't deny an underlying desire for him...a buried craving begging to be satisfied and a part of her wondered how long she'd be able to control herself.

For the first time in years, Casey Novak slept completely through the night. No nightmare.

_Come now just let it go, let it fall down, let it all flow like  
>The water that's rushing in over your soul 'til there's nothing left<br>Come now just let it go, let it fall down, let it all flow like  
>The water that's rushing in over your soul 'til there's nothing left<br>Won't you come to me and rest?_

**A/N: The plot continues to thicken…I don't know, for some reason I felt like a chapter like this was needed. Casey needs some love haha Review, pretty please? I didn't get any on the last chapter and it was like not getting presents on Christmas. **


	15. Chapter 15: Don't

**Nocturne Chapter 15: Don't  
><strong>

**A/N: There's a little more cuteness at the end of this chapter, but that's it for now because that's just not how Casey and Diego are. That, and they're just friends. I heard this Jewel song and thought it was absolutely perfect for the chapter. Yesterday, I seriously felt like I was in this story because I went out with my pseudo boyfriend and for dinner, I suggested a place I know well-it's a tiny downtown Chinese place with the typical eerie flickering light sign out front. A sign on the door read: Tomorrow we will be closed the dining room for private party." We walked in to face two totally dark dining areas and a dimly lit wait area with a bench and a random fountain. A really old Chinese lady walked out and said "We not closed," so I ordered eel. His reaction: "You know the shadiest places. Ever." I came home and was still hungry, so I had...*drumroll* Sesame chicken takeout! And for breakfast this morning...Fried rice takeout. Yup. It really isn't that far from the truth.**

**FF readers: I've now reached ten reviews! Thank you so much! I also made some adjustments to this chapter to make Casey's life story more consistent with what's already in place. I don't want to keep deviating too much. New goal: 15 (I'm getting ambitious =P) is it time to find out what happened 12 years ago? Hmm.. Enjoy! ~platarozaluna**

**Before:**

_Tuesday, March 19th  
>10:00 am<br>Casey Novak's Apartment  
>Manhattan, New York<br>_  
><em>Don't walk too close<br>Don't breathe so soft_

When Casey awoke, she first became conscious of the fact that there was a piece of paper lying on her chest and second, that her face and hair felt sticky and a shower was much in order. The script on the paper, from a distance, looked very beautiful, but was actually very difficult to read-though it was a welcome difficulty, a handwriting Casey hadn't realized she missed seeing.  
><em><br>"Casey,  
>I was hoping to be back by the time you awoke; however, if that is not the case, know that I will return shortly. I've gone to the grocery store seeing as I can't exactly make you breakfast out of takeout. Rest well,<em>

_-Diego"  
><em>  
>She couldn't help but laugh as she read the letter. In all her years of living alone she seemed to have forgotten that most normal people eat three meals a day and most people at least kept food in their homes, even if they didn't use it.<p>

Casey decided to take advantage of Diego's temporary absence to get what would most likely prove a very interesting shower, seeing as she wasn't allowed to get her bandages wet.

She resolved the issue by cutting and tying three plastic bags around her midsection and holding the nozzle of the shower head so that she could manipulate the direction of the water. The small inconveniences were made worth it, however, when she felt the hot water seep into her hair for the first time since Sunday night. She took a deep breath and just let the water run over her as she tried to process all that had happened in the last few days. It'd started out an ordinary case, just had turned into something vastly more complex. Isabella's father was killed, Pietro practically confessed in open court, but not before having one of his cronies try to do her in. She was taken from the trial to Mercy Hospital and operated on, agreed to adopt an eight year old orphan, given hallucinogenic drugs, and woke up to see someone she hadn't seen or heard from in twelve years. Then, she'd been poisoned. It'd been an eventful two days. She slipped out of the shower , tied the towel around herself, and proceeded to remove the plastic bags. They came off neatly enough, but took her bandages off with them. Shit. What to do...what to do...Casey didn't want to risk ripping the stitches open or getting any kind of infection, so she took the box of bandages out of the bag from the hospital and proceeded to wrap gauze in a sheath around her midsection. Holding the gauze in place with two fingers, she used her other hand to get the medical tape, which she stuck on hastily and at random. It didn't matter so long as it held the bandage in place. She dressed slowly in yoga pants and a dark red tank top, knowing Diego wouldn't care if she didn't look like a super model. She pulled her wavy red hair into a messy ponytail and a streak of garnet lip stain was the extent of her makeup.

Diego was putting away groceries when Casey entered the kitchen and he smiled when he saw her.

"Some of your cabinets look like this is the first time they've ever seen use," he said.

"Cooking is overrated," she replied coolly and raised her arm in a yawn. In doing so, however, she felt the bandages begin to loosen and slip down. Damn. She tried to inconspicuously slide them back up, but of course, he noticed and put down the box of pasta he was holding.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I changed these godforsaken bandages and must have done a shoddy job of it, everything's fine, I'll just fix this," she retorted, but his expression had softened significantly.

"Oh Case...why didn't you just ask me to do it? I'll help you," he insisted and Casey felt a surge of a feeling she couldn't quite place. It wasn't bad, just unfamiliar...modesty? No, it couldn't be. But it was. She rolled up the bottom of her tank top to just an inch or two above her midriff. He was unsurprisingly tender and gently wrapped the gauze around her. She held it in place while he adjusted the tape so that it would better attach, and couldn't help but feel guilty at the tingle that coursed through her when his arm brushed against her waist. Their eyes locked briefly and they just smiled at each other in what was seemingly a sense of understanding-of what, she didn't know.

_Don't talk so sweet_

Diego made spaghetti and they ate at the kitchen table in relative silence, broken only by the clink of silverware against the plates and the ringing of the phone. She left the food reluctantly to answer it, having long forgotten how delicious a homemade meal could be.

"It's okay, eat your lunch. I'll get it," Diego said, but Casey shook her head.

"I'd rather them not know I have a strange man they don't know staying with me. Don't feel like dealing with the rumors when I get back to work," she explained and he nodded in understanding.

"This is Casey, speaking?" she answered and heard a sign on the other end of the line. Then a pause.

"It's Amando Bellini. I'm sorry to bother you at home, but you need you to come to a hearing of sorts," the defense attorney said awkwardly and Casey instantly got a suspicious feeling.

"A...hearing?" she asked.

"Yes. The allegations you made against Pietro DeLuca about the rape of a woman named Sáratríz LaSpina did not go uninvestigated. The problem is, that Sáratríz LaSpina died before you were born. How could she have told you anything?" Casey swallowed hard. She'd been so caught up in nailing Pietro that she neglected to make a plan for when she was called on it, or rather, she was not given a chance.

"I...I have her journals," Casey replied and Amando sighed again.

"We have Pietro in custody and we're investigating your assault, trying to get the hitman to spill the guy who hired him. You need to be down at the precinct at 9:00 tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, but you don't have a choice here," he said shortly and hung up before giving her the chance to answer.

Diego could tell immediately that something was wrong as soon as she hung up the phone and turned around to face him. He'd only heard her end of the conversation, but she hadn't said much and that was a red flag for him. Who would be summoning Casey to a hearing? And whose journals did she have?

"Are you alright?" he asked her and she nodded, so he didn't press her further. They cleaned up the dinner dishes together and then went back into the living room, ending up side by side on the couch. He didn't want to look like he was avoiding her, but she didn't seem to care. She wore a pensive expression and snuggled her knees to her chest. She was worried. "I'm going to put another movie on, okay? He suggested, thinking it would calm her down a bit. When Casey didn't answer, Diego turned on the TV to find another movie OnDemand that they could both watch. Normally, he would have thought that he and Casey watching James Cameron's "Titanic" together was quite possibly the worst idea he could have had, but he knew it used to be her favorite, so he needed to put aside his personal beliefs for the time.

The theme music started and Casey just looked at him.

"Why are we watching this?" she asked and he shrugged.

"You like it, but it's okay. I do, too." She wanted to lean into him, be wrapped safely within the stronghold of his arms. It was like fighting an intense craving, an urge for something that needed to happen soon or she would feel pain. Like an all-consuming, powerful withdrawal. But she couldn't do it yet. She had to time it right, wait for a romantic scene.

_Don't sing  
><em>  
>"I saw my whole life as if I'd already lived it. An endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull me back, no one who cared... or even noticed.<p>

It was the ship of dreams to everyone else. To me it was a slave ship, taking me back to America in chains. Outwardly, I was everything a well brought up girl should be. Inside, I was screaming," Old Rose explained to Lovett and his crew.

Diego thought briefly about how similar his friend (did he just think of her as a friend?) Casey was to the Rose of the Titanic movie. A porcelain doll on the outside, no matter how she was breaking on the inside.

For Casey Novak, it had always been like that. Her narrow parents and their narrow friends-focused solely on maintaining an image of perfection, no matter how fake. Image was...all that ever mattered. Her father was successful in the army and her mother, well, her mother was the "perfect wife"-keeping house, cooking, raising children. But it wasn't children she wanted. She would have done far better with dolls, for children couldn't be commanded or molded properly. A girl like Casey-strong, passionate, opinionated, and firm in her own convictions-had no place.

"Don't do it," Jack said firmly as Rose clung to the railing of the ship like a lifeline.

"Stay back! Don't come any closer!" she exclaimed, but Jack persisted.

"Come on, just give me your hand. I'll pull you back over." 

"No, stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!" Rose threatened, her words not seeming to have any effect on him whatsoever. Jack approached slowly and gestured that he was merely going to throw his cigarette into the ocean so that she wouldn't panic and let go. 

"No, you won't," he said arrogantly. Rose looked up at him in shock.

"What do you mean, "No, I won't"? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you don't know me!" Jack gave a smug smirk.

"Well, you woulda done it already."

"You're distracting me! Go away!" Rose hissed and swatted him away with one hand.

"I can't. I'm involved now. You let go, and I'm, going to have to jump in there after you." He shrugged and kicked off his right shoe.

"Don't be absurd. You'd be killed!" 

"Like I said, I don't have a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the railing and get me off the hook here. Rose turned up her nose at him.

"You're crazy."

"That's what everybody says but, with all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here. Come on. C'mon, give me your hand. You don't want to do this," he pressed gently and held out his hand. She reached hers back as his came forward and helped her back onto the deck.

"Whew! I'm Jack Dawson." She shook his hand awkwardly.

"Rose De Witt Bukater."

Casey felt like twelve years ago was washing over her like a tidal storm. She was again standing at her bathroom sink with a meat carving knife in one hand, watching blood trickle down her left wrist. Where should she put it? The heart seemed the most logical place, the quickest and surest way to end it-she just had to do it in a quick, fluid motion and it would be over before she knew it. She didn't really want to do this, but she had to. It was the only way to relieve her own pain and spare everyone else the burden of having to deal with her. She sent him the goodbye text, as he had, being the only person who'd ever expressed a desire to help her, the right to know. She went back to looking in the cloudy mirror for any reflection of the happy go lucky little girl she'd once been. When she was little, she hadn't cared what anyone thought of her, not even her mother. Within minutes, her phone rang. She didn't even have to check the screen to know who it was. The more she ignored the calls, the more the caller persisted until Casey finally picked up the phone.

"Casey?" She didn't say anything, just caught her breath as her racing heart pounded against her chest. In that moment, she knew she wouldn't do it. "Have you done anything to hurt yourself? Casey? Answer me," he demanded. She didn't like harsh voices, but his was...a veil for an undertone of worry, so that, she supposed, was alright.

"I was just about to...but you distracted me," she heard herself snap into the receiver. Later, she would thank him for the phone call that saved her life that hot May night. 

Diego knew that Casey must have been thinking about her own attempted suicide, if he could call it that. They'd never talked about it in great deal, but Casey told him one day shortly before their final goodbye that of all the times she threatened to kill herself while she battled depression, that night was the only time she'd ever really meant to go through with it. They weren't even that close when it happened-casual friends that talked every now and then. That incident, however, was what ultimately bound them together. Made them so much more than just friends.

_Don't lay oh so near_

"I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right... That's all that I want," Jack said and Rose turned away from him, hiding her face with her wavy hair.

"Well, I'm fine... I'll be fine... really," she replied briskly, earning her a raised eyebrow from Jack.

"Really? I don't think so. They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out..."

"It's not up to you to save me, Jack," she reminded him sadly. 

"You're right... only you can do that."

When Casey met Diego, she'd just started to realize how screwed up she actually was, but she wasn't exactly dealing with her realization. She stuck by what her parents told her since she was old enough to understand: "never show your feelings," and locked herself away. Her smiles were plastic, her mind a fragile glass wall she put up to shield herself from an unkind world. He fought like hell to break through, but when he did, she knew the wall was down for good.

_Please don't let me fall in love with you again  
><em>  
>When Diego first met Casey, he had no way of knowing he would to come to care about her as much as he eventually would. When he called her that night, he knew she was in pain, at war with herself, and he pitied her. Of course he didn't want her to kill herself, but then again, he would have done the same thing for anyone. If she'd made that threat a year later-six months even-it would have meant even more to him than it did then. She grew on him after awhile as a presence that always seemed to be with him even when they hadn't seen each other in months. Against his will, as so often happens, his friendly compassion for her evolved into something much deeper.<p>

_all those sweet smiles  
><em>  
>"Do you love him?" Jack asked curiously. <p>

"Pardon me?"

"Do you love him?" he asked again.

"Well, you're being very rude. You shouldn't be asking me this," Rose snapped, but Jack merely shrugged.

"Well, it's a simple question. Do you love the guy or not?"

"This is not a suitable conversation," Rose said with a disdainful sniff. But Jack was not to give up so easily.

"Why can't you just answer the question?" he pressed.

"This is absurd. I don't know you and you don't know me and we are not having this conversation at all. You are rude and uncouth, and presumptuous, and I am leaving now." Rose stomped her small foot on the first class deck for good measure and started shaking Jack's hand. "Jack... Mister Dawson, it's been a pleasure. I've sought you out to thank you, and now I have thanked you."

"And even insulted me," Jack chided.

"Well, you deserved it."

"I thought you were leaving." Rose let go of his hand and turned to leave.

"I am. You are so annoying. Wait, I don't have to leave, this is my part of the ship. You leave."

Casey was reminded of the unnecessary fights she would pick with Diego. In the beginning, he would wonder why she was yelling at and insulting him, but she never knew, so she kept going. Kept yelling. Until later, when she was overwhelmed with love for him and just wanted to hold him in her arms and apologize over and over again. In time, he got used to it, though she knew that didn't make it okay. It was like fighting gave her a rush. Long after she stopped the physical self harm, she would pick fights with Diego when she needed a quick fix-comfortable and secure in knowing that he would always accept her apologies. It wasn't that she wanted to hurt him, hell, she loved him more than anything. It was twisted, but she was addicted to...fighting.

_Please let me forget  
><em>  
>Rose approached him shyly like a dog with it's tail between its legs. "Hello Jack. I changed my mind. They said you might be out here." Jack, interestingly enough, didn't seem surprised. He was leaning against the side of the ship and gestured for her to join him.<p>

"Shhh. Gimme your hand. Now close your eyes, go on. Now step up. Now hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed, don't peek." Rose did as she was told, took his hand, shut her eyes, and allowed him to guide her.

"I'm not," she replied. 

"Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed. Do you trust me?" Rose nodded.

"I trust you," she said without an ounce of doubt in her voice. Jack opened Rose's arms.

"All right. Open your eyes," he instructed. She did so and took in a sharp breath, looking around her in wonder.

"I'm flying, Jack!" she exclaimed and Jack began to sing.

"Come, Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes up, up she goes." For a long time, they just stared at each other, smiling. Their lips met tenderly and softly in a moment of sweet passion.

When Casey and Diego kissed for the first time, it wasn't a moment of sweet passion, but rather a moment of pent up romantic tension finally being released through an outlet that wasn't allowed. Why? No specific reason, but they both knew it shouldn't have happened and came away from the experience feeling like they'd done something wrong.

_all of the passion_

"In the air she goes! Where? There she goes! Up! Up! A little bit higher! Oh my! The moon is on fire..." Rose and Jack sang as he danced her across the promenade. They stopped, then and Rose let out a heavy sigh.

"Here we are."

"Right." Jack nodded, but didn't make any move to leave.

"I don't want to go back," Rose murmured and Jack followed her gaze up to the sky. They star watched in silence for a few moments before Rose spoke again.  
>"Look. It's so beautiful," she whispered. <p>

"Yeah." Rose continued to look in awe at the night sky.

"So vast and endless. They're so small! My crowd... They think they're giants. They're not even dust in God's eye." Jack slipped his arm around her back and pulled her closer to him.

"You know, there's been a mistake. You got mailed to the wrong address." Rose laughed.

"I did, didn't I? Look! A shooting star!" It shot across the sky like fire, as if escaping the other smaller stars trying to hold it back. 

"Whoa, that was a long one... You know, my pops used to tell me, every time you saw one, it was a soul going to Heaven," Jack said and Rose smiled. 

"I like that. Are we supposed to wish on it?"

"Why? What would you wish for?" Rose paused before answering.

"Something I can't have."

Diego Cavallo was the only person that ever understood her, but in a way, he was like poison. The more she knew she could not have him, the more she wanted of him. An insatiable desire that only he could satisfy.

_all of the heat, the peace, the pain  
><em>  
>Rose leaned back against the seat of the car while Jack gripped the steering wheel and did his best chauffeur smile.<p>

"Where to, Miss?"

"To the stars," Rose replied dramatically. She snaked her arms around his neck and began to kiss every part of him that she could reach.

_all those blue skies  
><em>  
>Being with Diego was like living in a dream. Casey would have done anything for him, given it all to him twelve years ago. He was all she needed, the one thing that could unfailingly make her feel better no matter the extent of what she was going through. She leaned back against the couch and studied his profile, fighting the urge to climb into his lap and snuggle up like a tired child.<p>

_where your words were my freedom  
><em>  
>Jack tightly embraced Rose as she tore off the lifeboat and leapt back on to the first class promenade.<p>

"Rose! You're so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?" he exclaimed, but kissed her excitedly all the same-her cheeks, her forehead, and finally directly on the lips.

"You jump, I jump, right?" Rose reminded him earnestly and Jack nodded.

"Right." And then her arms were around him, squeezing him so tightly it was a surprise he didn't break.

"Oh God! I couldn't go. I couldn't go, Jack." Jack cuddled her close in a vain attempt to comfort her.

"It's all right. We'll think of something." She nodded into his chest and closed her eyes momentarily. She wanted to forget about the very real danger of their situation and just breathe in all she could of Jack Dawson.

"At least I'm with you."

Diego slipped an arm tenderly around his friend's back as his mind wandered to the unwavering love she'd had for him twelve years ago. His hand settled over the arch of her right shoulder and she shot him a questioning look, but certainly didn't object. Diego wondered if it felt as right to her as it did for him-he supposed it must have.

"I love you, Jack," Rose whispered and Jack rubbed his hands against her freezing forearms to keep her warm. 

"Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Not yet, do you understand me?" he urged her. Rose was too cold to shiver.

"I'm so cold," she murmured as she shivered against the floating plywood. Jack reached out and squeezed her wrist in his hand.

"Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?" Rose moaned in response.

"I can't feel my body."

"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise." He was looking at her with a passionate earnestness that seemed to warm Rose enough to reply. She gave his fingertips a light squeeze.

"I promise," she whispered.

"Never let go."

"I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

Casey felt overcome with emotion and she was reminded of how she felt when Diego left her. Betrayed, mistrusting, lost, and broken. The one person who'd made her feel whole had left her and for awhile, nothing seemed worth it anymore. He was the one who said he loved her, that he'd never leave, that he cared about what happened to her...and then, he was gone, too. Just like everyone else. She felt Diego's arm tighten around her and she fell into it, leaning her head against his chest. Content, but not at peace.

_Please, don't let me fall in love with you again_

The Carpathia Steward approached Rose, who hugged the blanket she was wrapped it more tightly around herself.

"Can I take your name, please love?" the kindly woman asked and Rose didn't answer right away. Without even turning around to look, she murmured

"Dawson. Rose Dawson."

Her eyes were closed and he could feel the light rise and fall of her chest against his, so he picked up the remote and turned off the TV, cloaking the room in darkness.

"I'm not asleep," Casey murmured and an invisible force guided Diego's hand to her back.

"I know. But something's on your mind. We should talk about it." She was silent for a long time and he was starting to think that maybe she really didn't want to talk until he heard her sigh.

"Sometimes...I just feel like I try to remain detached, but I just get...too invested, you know?" He ran a hand through her thick red hair and found himself snuggling her closer.

"What do you mean?"

"In my cases. I feel like I get more invested each time-more attached to the victims and the vile things that happen to them. I shouldn't have promised Isabella I would adopt her...I just...she reminded me of me. Young, smart, her whole life ahead of her. I couldn't let her get destroyed like I got destroyed, but what am I going to do with a kid? It was such a stupid promise. I'm not a mom...I have responsibilities at work. I have no idea how to take care of a kid..."Casey trailed off and Diego didn't know what to say.

"It's okay, we'll figure everything out," he murmured and continued to rub her back. In one respect, she was right. She knew nothing about children and maybe she did get too invested some times, but she wasn't completely right when she said she could never be a mother. She was a good person on the inside, no matter how hardened she was on the outside. And she hadn't been destroyed. Broken yes, but not beyond repair. She was strong. "Casey...who did you think you saw in the hospital yesterday afternoon?" he asked gently and she blinked open her eyes to look at him.

"There's no hiding anything from you, is there?" she asked with a small smile before continuing. "I saw my mother." He nodded in understanding.

"I thought so." They laid together in silence for a while without speaking.

_Too many times  
>I've cared too much<br>_  
>Casey didn't know why she felt herself so overcome with emotion, but she couldn't let him see. She resolved to not say another word until the feeling passed and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. She felt his arms tighten around her like a protective haven and she...caved in. She fell into him and just let it out. Then, she was crying more than she ever had. More than she ever thought was possible for one person and she had absolutely no control. She cried for Adriana Russo, Lanzo Mancini, Isabella, and for herself. For her childhood, her cases, and for her loneliness. She cried because she missed Diego even though he was right there with her. He didn't say anything, just continued to hold her close to him and rub soothing circles into her back. She felt guilty that her tears were ruining his shirt, but she still couldn't get herself to stop.<p>

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said over and over again, but he shushed her and cradled her close.

"It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong. There is no right or wrong answer," Diego assured her and she tried to find a long enough break between sobs to talk to him. It turned out, she only had breath enough to say "don't let go of me." Casey found herself wrapping her arms around his middle and settling her face against his chest once more. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks, but she was silent save for the occasional hiccup. Her breathing started to even out and she felt his hand travel from her back to her neck as he combed through her long hair with his fingers. Something about this steady motion soothed her enough that she found words to talk.

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose my badge," she confessed quietly and Diego continued to stroke her hair.

"You're not going to lose your badge. You didn't do anything wrong and after what happened to you, they're going to be glad you aren't quitting on them. From what I hear, you're an excellent prosecutor. You don't need to be worried, but that's not what this is about, is it?"

_I stood on the edge  
>and saw that you held my hand<em>

Diego felt her muscles tighten.

"They're not going to let me adopt Isabella. I'm not going to be able to keep my promise to that little girl who thinks I'm all she has," Casey whispered and Diego realized what this could really be about. Now, how to introduce it delicately without causing her to clam up?

"This is about your baby, isn't it?" he asked hesitantly. As expected, Casey immediately jolted upright.

"What? What do you know about-I...I don't have any kids! I'm not a mom, remember?" Again, Diego shushed her and lightly pulled her back against him again.

"When you were in the hospital, the doctor asked me about a scar you apparently had from a C-section and wanted to know if you had a child. It's alright, love. You can tell me. I won't judge you," he assured the young attorney tenderly and gave her shoulder a squeeze. He didn't know why he'd just called her 'love,' but it felt right in the moment and must have worked for something because she seemed to calm back down instantly.

"It was five years ago. I was...in graduate school. I don't know if I loved him necessarily, but I liked him a lot. He made me happy. He talked about getting married after we graduated, but he..." she trailed off, unable to continue.

"Did he leave you when he found out you were pregnant?" Diego asked, thinking it the most obvious explanation. He felt her shake her head and start crying again.

"I...left him," she whispered in a breath barely audible. "I left him...because he had an illness he couldn't help. I'm such...a...hypocritical monster!" she finally exclaimed and let out another heavy sob into his chest that shook her shoulders. "I told him that I couldn't take it anymore and that if he didn't start taking his pills, I was leaving. He said that if I really loved him, I wouldn't want him to take the pills. I'd accept him the way he was, but I'd been doing that. I just...couldn't take it anymore," Casey explained and felt the all too familiar guilt wash over her as she thought, as she had on so many of her sleepless nights, about how she'd done the same thing to her ex that Diego had done to her. She'd done exactly what she claimed to not believe in. He needed her. She abandoned him.

_and knowing too well  
>I couldn't hide from those eyes<em>

"I'm sure you had a reason. There's not a doubt in my mind. If I may ask, what did he have?" Diego broke in.

"Schizophrenia," Casey muttered.

"Ah," Diego said knowingly and went back to working his fingers through Casey's hair.

"He'd just do crazy things all the time. Each thing more difficult for me to handle than the last. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't make him take the medicine and I couldn't live with him the way he was. Three days after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant. I never told him. I was at...Harvard. Can you believe it? Me. At Harvard...but I transferred to NYU at the end of the semester so no one would find out about the baby. There was a lot I needed to get away from and I'd always liked NYU better than Harvard...it was just that my parents pushed for an Ivy League law school if I was to go at all. I knew I didn't-couldn't want it, but I didn't want to abort. I scheduled a safe C-section for my eighth month and they took the baby out of me at 32 weeks. I didn't want to see it. I knew if I saw it, I'd get attached. They told me I had a son and that they'd put him up for adoption after he got out of neonatal care and that they never had problems placing infants, especially newborns. So now you know. Somewhere, there's a little male me running around...and I don't even know if he's happy. What if his adoptive parents mistreat him? What if he was never adopted? All because of my stupid ambition. I -didn't want- my baby, Diego, how messed up is that? Aren't mothers supposed to have some kind of instinct with that sort of thing? I picked my job over my kid. Gave up my son like a used pair of jeans. It's a wonder how I was able to live with myself," she concluded and stared up the ceiling as if hoping God himself would give her the answers she sought. Diego didn't know what to say.

"You did have motherly instinct. You loved that baby enough to do the best thing for him. You couldn't raise him, so you gave him to someone who could and that's very admirable," he said and another silence settled over them. For awhile, she was so quiet and her breathing so even that he thought she must have fallen asleep. He carefully slid his fingers from her hair, but was surprised when she made a small sound.

"Please don't stop. That feels good," she murmured and Diego went back to stroking her red curls. He knew it was getting late and that he should probably put her to bed, especially considering she needed to be up early in the morning for the hearing, but he didn't see any harm in allowing her to lie there with him instead of in her bedroom by herself. She'd been alone long enough. Tomorrow, though, sleeping arrangements would have to be separate before the slowly fading boundary between them started to fade away entirely.

Casey felt her eyelids begin to get heavy and she didn't see a need to fight sleep any longer. A more rational part of her knew she shouldn't be here snuggled into her ex best friend's chest, but there wasn't a harm in it if she got a good night's sleep out of it. It was only one night, after all. He seemed to be asleep, and if she got up, she'd wake him up and then he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, which wasn't fair. "Good night Diego, I love you," Casey murmured before she let sleep overtake her.

Diego wasn't asleep, but her thinking he was saved him from having to answer. He didn't know what to say, so he did the only thing that came naturally: held her even closer.

_Please, don't let me fall in love with you again_

**A/N: Isn't it kind of funny how logical they both are even in a completely illogical situation? This chapter just screams "Pent up romantic tension" haha. Sorry the update took so long, but when I get the chance to write a chapter with the potential to be beautiful, I like to devote to it the time it deserves. Review, please, to find out about the hearing =)**


	16. Chapter 16: Out

**Nocturne Chapter 16: Out  
><strong>  
><strong>AN: Readers of this story: I have something special for you. I recently downloaded a new video program and am using it to make little videos to go along with each chapter—basically the song used in the chapter and images that go with the plot of the chapter. The first one is up, but kind of bad because a) I was learning how to use the video program when I made it and b) chapter one didn't have much of a plot. That said, I'm working on the video for chapter 2 now and would appreciate it if you guys checked them out =) My youtube channel is "platarozaluna" and the video is called "SVUNocturne Chapter 1." Thanks! ~platarozaluna**_  
><em> 

_Receive me  
>Unleash me<br>_  
><strong>After:<br>**  
>"Stabler," he answered thickly. Casey felt instantly soothed-something about the familiarity of that voice. But she heard pain in it.<p>

"This is...Lupe Romera," she said, not knowing where the name or the puerto rican accent were coming from, but they worked.

"Are you calling to make a report?" Elliot growled. _You shouldn't treat a possible victim that way, be nice_, she wanted to tell him. Casey bit her lip to keep from revealing her identity to him.

"Ma'm?"

"I-I think I had the wrong number," she replied quickly and hung up before Elliot could say anything else. She needed to get ready for her coffee with Jason. 

**Before:  
><strong>  
><em>Wednesday, March 24th<br>9:15 am  
>NYPD Manhattan Precinct<br>Manhattan, New York  
><em>  
><em>I crave the morning<br>Quickly, come  
>I get down on my knees and pray<br>And hope the dawning pulls me right out of my dream_

"Casey, this is Paolo Moretti who will be representing Pietro DeLuca. Paolo, this is Casey Novak." Casey slipped out of Diego's grip on her arm-after all, she could certainly handle herself-and let her eyes bore into Pietro's skull like lasers.

"And the charges against Mr. DeLuca are?" she asked politely, so as to know what she was contending with.

"NYPD seems to think my client can be charged with one count attempted murder of a government official in the first degree, believing him to have orchestrated a hit, and one count rape in the first degree," Moretti explained as he eyed Casey with very open disdain. Amando then turned to Casey.

"What we would really like to know is, do you have any evidence to back up either charge?" he asked. How could the department have thrown her under the bus like that? She hadn't spoken to anyone in two days...she didn't have any evidence.

"Miss Novak, you have no proof that my client orchestrated the attempt on your life, do you? I know you claim to have a witness-interestingly enough, the assailant himself-but until he talks, you are not within the right to charge Mr. De Luca with attempted murder," Moretti pointed out and Casey didn't have a choice. As much as it pained her to do it, she conceded.

"The People do not have adequate evidence to support the charge at this time," she said blandly earning her a smirk from Moretti.

"Then it goes away, doesn't it, Novak? Hmm...perhaps you aren't as crooked as I was told-"

"If you want to criticize the way I run my courtroom, have the balls to come out and do it. Don't hide behind a veil of implied accusations. I'm all ears," Casey broke in with a hiss. Diego sighed, but Paolo Moretti seemed pleased.

"I'm honored to have experienced your legendary mouth first hand, but is it wise for someone in your position to be so loose-tongued? You know, it could hurt you if you ever planned to run for District Attorney, couldn't it?" he chided and Casey was starting to think that of all the sleazy defense attorneys she dealt with on a regular basis, this one deserved some sort of special award.

"If you're here to talk politics, I'm not obligated to stay." Diego gave Casey that 'quit while you're ahead' look, but she ignored him. He obviously didn't know the rules she played by and therefore shouldn't get involved in her game.

"We need to clear up this rape allegation and Mr. DeLuca has the right to face his accuser. It's alright, Casey. Just tell us what you know," Amando pressed gently. His face betrayed an expression of sympathy, as if something was about to happen that neither he nor she was going to like. Casey thought for a moment, trying best to think of a way to explain what needed to be said without being disbarred.

"Would you be more comfortable if your friend were to leave?" Amando asked and Diego got up off the leather sofa immediately. Casey, however, grabbed his hand and pulled him back. To Amando and Paolo, she said,

"there is nothing I would say to you that I couldn't say in front of Diego. Like I already said to Mr. Bellini, I read Sáratríz's journals that described the attack in detail. I knew her daughter. I know what this woman went through."

"Is that it? You had a man charged with a serious crime, your only evidence being your own word? In what part of law is that justified? I would like to bring up the suggestion that perhaps the People had it out for my client from day one. And this, right here, is a perfect example of why we elect our DAs in this country. What you did was out of line, counselor, and you know it. This incident will be reported to the Board and I have no doubt your badge will be suspended pending investigation," Moretti growled. Casey could almost feel the steam coming out of her ears-his office had done plenty of reprehensible things in the past, but yet his career remained intact.

"I'm not having this conversation. I fight for justice, not red tape and dirty politics. You're blackmailing me and you know it," Casey snapped and she felt Diego's arm slip around her waist.

"Calm down, everything's going to be alright," he assured her, but she swatted him away.

"My client has already agreed. This outlandish charge goes away, so does my phone call to the Board. It's your choice, really." Her first instinct was to fight back, protest his conditions, but a more realistic part of her mind clicked on and made her wonder if it was worth losing her permission to practice law in pursuit of a dead rape case and a perp at death's door.

"Take the offer, Casey. There's no doubt in my mind he'll call the Board if you don't and you'd have to drop the charge eventually anyway because your evidence is circumstantial at best. The victim is dead and this alleged perp isn't getting any younger. You can always recharge him if you find something, you know that," Amando reminded her, but she was confused.

"Whose side are you on?" she demanded. One minute, he was Joe Defense Attorney and the next, he was acting like he wanted to help her.

"Yours. I figured you'd want a lawyer," he replied with a smile.

"I can't afford you on the State's salary," Casey muttered, but again, he smiled.

"This one's on the house. If you don't have enough sense to do this, -I'm- calling the Board." She didn't much have a choice, did she?

"All charges against you are void. You're free to go, Mr. DeLuca," she said through clenched teeth, internally vowing to find concrete evidence neither Pietro nor his lawyer could wave away.

"Molte grazie," the old man said to his lawyer and Casey had to suppress the bile that rose in her throat at the sight of his vile, repulsive, wrinkled face.

"Well, that's that. I really hope I don't see you again, I'm sure you understand," Moretti said. Casey fought the urge to tear the arrogant smirk right off him.

_You walk right by my window  
>Every day I can feel you so near<br>When will you come to get me out of my fear?  
><em> 

She and Diego's eyes followed the two men as they left the Meeting room and turned down the hallway. Once they were gone, Amando kicked the door shut with his foot and turned around to face Casey and Diego. Casey shot him a questioning look, to which he responded with a deep sigh.

"Casey, I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but how long have you been off your medication?" Casey instantly jolted upright.

"Excuse me?" she hissed and Diego tapped her shoulder.

"What's he talking about? Medicine for what?"

"Our counselor has a medical disorder. She was diagnosed as a teenager as a bipolar depressant. My point? If she's gone off her medication she is not mentally stable. Between the unsupported allegations, your curt remarks to one of the most highly regarded defense attorneys in Manhattan, and your little show in court the other day, I started thinking. You need to be evaluated, Casey," Amando explained gently and Casey jumped off the couch. Who the hell did he think he was? Amando just stood there and looked at her as if she were a ticking time bomb. Diego was frowning and probably thought she was already keeping things from him again.

"How long have you been off your medication?" Amando pressed and Casey frowned, not seeing how this was any of his business.

"A few years, I suppose," she replied with a shrug. It wasn't like she was still bipolar-she'd grown out of it when she left home, if she'd ever even had it in the first place.

_Would you unwind me  
>If you'd finally find me<br>I am tied to the ground  
>Ready to be unbound<br>Would you break me out and would you help me  
>To get out<br>Get out  
>Pull me out<br>_

She hated her childhood, but had strength now because no matter what happened in her adult life, nothing could be worse than that.

"Casey...you know you can't do that," Amando said quietly.

"I'm fine...I've been fine...was it your goal all along to have me thrown in a loony bin to get out of facing me in court when the trial resumes?" she snapped. Casey knew the accusation was ridiculous, but she also knew that it wasn't her career and wellbeing Amando Bellini was concerned about.

"See? That's what I mean. You aren't being rational. You aren't yourself. Take a breath. Get some fresh air and come back at a quarter of three. It's okay, you're just going to talk to someone for an hour or so. That's it."

"And if I don't?"she threatened.

"Then I -could- potentially file a complaint with the Board and have you investigated," Amando said quietly and Casey instantly flared.

_Each day a new tomorrow  
>And I long for the same old aim<br>I'm bound in bitter sorrow  
>I know I want out, but I can't<br>_

"How -dare- you back me into a corner like this!" she spat. She'd evidently made the mistake of thinking they were friends. Diego pulled her back into his lap and lightly gripped her shoulder. This action alone calmed her. Something about the stability of it.

"Casey. Listen to me. It's going to be okay. I'm going to take you to lunch-my treat-and then you're going to come back here and talk to the psychologist, okay? It's easy. You'll just answer a few questions and remember, no one can legally force you to take anything you aren't comfortable with. Think of it as you finding out for yourself if you grew out of it. I know you and I know you don't like not knowing," Diego explained softly. Casey made eye contact with him and nodded.

_Would you unleash me  
>If you'd perceive me?<br>_

He asked if she was ready to go and she nodded again and watched as her feet brought her off the couch and towards the door while her mind reeled with a sense of anxiety. It was happening again. She'd thought it was all in the past and for twelve years, it was. She was Casey Novak, Queen of the Courtroom, but now, Diego had brought with him the dark past she'd long since rejected, and she was Little Loser Casey all over again.

_Get me out, please hear my prayer  
>(Do you think it'll go that way?)<br>I get down on my knees and pray  
>(Do you think it'll run that way?)<br>I get down on my knees and pray  
><em> 

Once they were out of the room, Diego squeezed Casey's hand and smirked.

"What could possibly be funny?" she hissed.

"I've just never been in a room with that many angry Italians at one time before today."

_Get me out just to dry my tears  
>Yes, I pray<br>Would you help me to get out?  
>Get out<br>Pull me out  
><em>  
><strong>AN: When I saw the episode where Casey was trying to help the bipolar girl, I always got the sense that there was more of an emotional connection than her ex boyfriend. I was just waiting for her to say she was or used to be either bipolar or depressed, so that's where the idea for this came from. Voglio your reviewsssss per favore =) =) ~platarozaluna**


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